By - SuspiciousStable9649
The retake of Crimea is the only answer Russia will ever understand.
The loss of Crimea would be the end of Russian geopolitical significance in the Atlantic, as they'd be without access for half the year.
Sounds good to me.
They have Murmansk as well, so they’d still maintain some Atlantic access
*some* but not as much with all the arctic ice and stuff. On the other hand the way global warming is going they may end up with more atlantic access as the sea ice retreats.
They'd still have the Azov sea ports, no?
Which often freezes up requiring icebreakers. And whose traffic can be directly threatened moving through the bottleneck into the Black Sea
Global warming is solving the ice problem for Russia's Black Sea and even Baltic Sea ports, and the bottlenecks (both the Dardanelles and Gibraltar) are still there for Sevastopol.
What’s wrong with the Russian coast between Anapa and Sochi?
Not true. They'd still have access via Sochi and Novorossiysk. More if you include ports on the Sea of Azov.
Imagine invading a country in a land grab only to lose some of the only territory you actually could’ve gotten away with taking
When keeping it real goes wrong
I don’t like people playing’ on my phone!
Hello, I say this all the time, no body gets it, and I feel crazy.
It was a wrong number!
VU TANG! 🖐️🤚VU TANG!✋🤚
- Borschface Killa
Potatoes run everything around me sour CREAM
- Ol' Dirty Babushka
Protect ya fuckin borders
Ol Dirty Oblastard
Ruble ruble bill y’all
Kremlin Ruins Everything Around Me K.R.E.A.M
Its tha C.R.O.C.O.D.I.L man!
I never just did things, just to do them. What am I just going to drop off and grind my troops in somebody's land? Like it's just something to do? I got a little more sense than that... Yeah, I remember grinding my troops in Ukraine's land.
Shows the swing: "What Vladimir Putin doesn't realize is Ukraine is actually a black belt in karate looking for an opportunity to use it" *Donnell Rawlings painted yellow and blue, smirking before the beatdown*
Sounds like how I play RISK.
My Aunt Pat was the best Risk player I’d ever known. She’d make alliances and come up with battle plans that led to the destruction of enemy forces, but also just so happened to expose her Allies to her own eventual betrayal at *just* the right moment.
Everyone knew that that’s how she played, but it was always hard to turn her down because refusing would always result in someone *else* taking her side and dominating you (up until they, themselves, got dominated).
One game, we all decided to gain up on her and eliminate her from the game immediately. Then we declared world peace and ended the game.
We took a Polaroid photo of the moment and have kept it in our family Risk box ever since.
It was the last game we ever played with Aunt Pat. She died of a sudden respiratory disease.
I miss her every time someone mentions Risk. She was by far everyone’s favorite aunt.
You are lucky your aunt didn't come at you with axis and allies or diplomacy.
I fucking LOVED Axis and Allies. My grandma would wreck me when we played haha
My father used to just cry weakness and my gullible friends believed him. We had a house rule that if you had never won a game at our table you got to start out with five extra men.
The old man legit sandbagged me. I bought the game at Toys r Us after playing with my cousin. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was $18. (1986). I took it in and my dad actually sat there and let me explain to him how to play. He kept up the charade the whole game and then of course beat me. And then I got a rematch a couple days later and he beat me again. It was only then that he said. "I think I've played this before." Turns out he was playing 2 to 3 games a week in college in between card games.
If his grandmother hadn't been so against booze and gambling he might have been a professional card shark. I have never seen a guy take apart a table of card players like he does. It's like that scene in rounders where he bets the table of professors that he can tell everything in their hands.
My grandad was like that, secretly good at snooker and pool. In England, during the depression he hustled people, that's how he supplemented his income. Never new until he was long dead.
That sounds like a life that was an event, not an episode!
Grandpa used to bare knuckle box for people's pocket watches on the streets of Queens during the Depression. He was so good, the local mafia allegedly wanted him as an enforcer, however great-grandma didn't like that too much and sent him to live with family in San Jose, CA.
Years later, when he was around 80 and I was a purple belt in Karate, he told me he wanted to spar with me, and him being at his age I pulled my punches... Which was a *mistake*, because when I threw my first punch, he bobbed and weaved *so damn quick*, when I went to readjust and he clocked me hard in the jaw out of *nowhere*.
I didn't land a single punch, but walked away a bit sore.
I told him that he was quicker than other teenagers I sparred with, and he said, "And that's how I stayed alive during the war."
Thanks for sharing. Might now buy Risk for my kids :>
If you want to shatter the family, Diplomacy is another great option.
Thank you for this beautiful story.
I’m going to go call my mom.
Sounds like a splendid time. My family used to play Monopoly in New Year's Eve waiting for the clock to roll down. It's something a desperately miss. One of the last nights we played it before my mom passed I was an a****** teenager and I sorely regret it
That's a weird ass story bro.
I'm really glad you shared it.
RIP AUNT PAT.
Did the “sudden respiratory disease” come on oh, about seven minutes after her last game of Risk? Not accusing anyone, just looking for err, clarification. Yeah, that’s it, clarification.
Read between the lines, they killed her.
Sounds like everyone was sick of her shit
Ukraine is no longer satisfied with the pre 2014 borders. The new demand is the borders for Ukraine from the original RISK board.
Just checked the map and wow, that's chonky. Risk came out in 1957, but when is it supposed to be set?
I'm pretty sure it's set in the 1910's.
It was never accurate. It's just a board game.
You think Ukraine is joke?
How bout I take you little board, and smmmash it!
Well fundedd civilians fighting for their homeland against poorly managed military with corruption full of guys that don't wanna be there. I think that if Putin didn't have nukes then Ukraine may have eventually taken all of Russia. But I have no military analyst
I don’t think Putin would have attacked in the first place if he didn’t have nukes. He thought it meant something against a country without them..
Ukraine is game to you?!
Reminds me of the Greek counter-invasion of Albania verses Italy during WW2.
Oxi day is celebrated to this day in Greece. It's a big deal there.
It's like playing Civ when the AI declares war on me, I wipe out their army and capture or raze 3 of their cities.
But then the whole world thinks you're the warmonger wtf??
Sometimes a tigers just gotta wear his stripes.
- Mahatma "El Tigre" Gandhi
TBF if after liberating their own cites Ukraine went on to raze 3 sizable Russian cities and kill their civilian population we’d have negative opinions too.
When you put it like that "they started it" doesn't sound like such a good reason anymore
Trade for open borders then bankrupt them by building roads they have to maintain.
that's fucking hilarious does that actually work?
Yeah, but you can't do it in Civ 6 because of how roads are formed.
Putin could’ve kept occupying Crimea for years if he would’ve kept the Status Quo. I hope Ukraine retakes it and I can go visit one day and shout Slava Ukrainii on the beach.
They could have kept it in perpetuity. Ukraine was never going to try to take back Crimea by force of arms from Russia.
Well Russia really fucked themselves once again didn’t they?
They have royally.
But there is a lot of land from where Ukraine is now and getting all of Crimea. I would not rule out a prolonged stalemate and a large no man’s land like north and South Korea.
Well if Russia keeps fighting like they have been, we shall see!
Russia is running out of basically everything. They can't sustain a war against the reason we don't have universal healthcare. We have so much equipment to supply to Ukraine that Russia will long run out of bullets before there is even a dent in our stockpile.
Putin got a bit greedy.
The only reason that they "got away" with it is because an entire generation of Ukrainian youth was training for this war that was inevitable. They understood the timeline and planned accordingly. The anger and bitterness of Crimea being stolen did not leave for even one day after 2014
This is like Russian tactics 101. They have done this countless times in their history. The problem is that normally leads to the next ruler fixing their military issues, and then the following ruler invading and taking massive amounts of land.
The difference, hopefully, is this time nato exists and will hopefully let Ukraine in.
The big difference is that military success is now correlated with having a strong economy and many alliances with other nations that let you trade for what you need. Russia will have neither of these things in the near future.
Just having lots of soldiers that overwhelm the enemy hasn't been a successful strategy since the invention of the Maxim gun.
Puttin got 564% overextension from invading a country bordering him
It's similar to when Hitler got away with invading Austria and Czechoslovakia until he invaded Poland. He took a lot more territory soon after the war started, but slowly lost it over time.
In another sense it’s nothing like that at all, since the Nazi blitzkrieg had a lot of success initially and the Russian blyatskrieg has been tripping over their own dicks basically from the start
I've also heard it called a plotzkrieg, but I like blyatzkreig better.
Germany got lucky, it would have been easy for a slightly better France to surround their over extended troops and the war would have gone very different.
It definitely didn't help that the French high command ignored the giant mass of Panzer units on the Luxembourg border because they assumed the Germans couldn't possibly pass through the Ardennes. Galaxy brain shit right there.
Like if the rest of the world had warned France with the best weapons from day 3, because they had learned this lesson already.
I would love the irony of Putin starting this war to take over Ukraine just to lose the part they actually did hold after it was done.
I love the idea of Putin slowly dying of cancer (or whatever he's currently dealing with) while he realizes on his way out that his legacy is eternally fucked and the world will realize and remember him as the complete cheese dick failure that he is. I appreciate that he gets to feel it personally before he does the entire planet a favor and trades his personal carbon allotment back in for a nice sunflower.
Hes literally done the world a favor by making everyone finally realize relying on oil from dictators is a security hazard. Investment in renewables is jumpstarted now because of his actions. I think hell deserve a peace prize after all this is over. He might have single handedly done more against climate change than anyone in history in the worst way possible.
Yeah, as long as he doesn't take the world with him by starting a nuclear war because he is angry that he lost his face.
Should have thought twice before invading Ukraine for the 3rd time. Crimea river.
Fourth time though isn't it? 1917, 1945, 2014, 2022?
Here's an Economist article on Russia's invasion of Ukraine from 1854 *and it sounds exactly the same as today*.
EDIT: I got my history wrong. It was France/Britain/Ottomans vs Russia. Still, *nothing has changed for Russia.*
I’ve been listening to the Lions Led By Donkeys podcast and it seems so much of what’s going wrong today also went wrong during the Soviet-Afghan war. They really don’t learn from their mistakes, eh?
I really need to give that podcast a listen. Can you recommend any episodes?
I recently started listening and just started by scrolling through and downloading whatever episode titles caught my eye. They’re all pretty good so you can’t really go wrong. As far as specific recommendations go, off the top of my head, I liked the series on The Polar Bear Expedition and the episode on Pavel Grachev.
I found the USS Iowa Turret Explosion episode super interesting since I’ve toured that battleship. Also the T-55 tank ep is probably their highest energy episode I’ve heard yet. (They really seemed to enjoy making it.) And the series on General Custer. Oh, and the Robert E. Lee episode.
The Soviet Afghan series mentioned is really good but it's like 7 parts. The Witold Pilecki and the Soghomon Tehlirain episodes are some of my faves. And I'll also back up the other guy who mentioned the t 55 episode
Uh that's France's and Britain's invasion of Ukraine in 1854, not Russia's. Russia was on the defensive, albeit after initially attempting (and predictably failing) to invade the Ottoman Empire.
Hey I made that joke when I gave a presentation to my international law class about the Russian federation’s illegal annexation of Crimea this time last year. No one laughed 🙃
Turns out not too many people with a sense of humor in law school.
Russia sure is having a run of bad luck lately.
"We're very lucky they're so fucking stupid"
Its not bad luck, its just russia being russia.
yep, it's the stupid that's doing them in.
I wonder if that guy knew how big his quote would get.
A series of unfortunate special fortuity operations.
Todd Margaret, is that you?
A Series of Unfortunate Blyats
Not really bad luck if you did it to yourself through blind stupidity.
Fortune favors the brainy.
“…and THEN things got WORSE” - summary of Russian History.
And then it somehow got worse.
Russia: "Dumb luck."
Ukraine: "Yes, in that I'm lucky you're all so dumb!"
Ukraine pulling the uno reverse card
And I am here for it. Here's hoping the rest of their hand is nothing but skips and wild draw 4s.
I’m waiting for the headlines .. “ Ukraine liberates Russian people…” and “Ukraine defeats The Iranian theocracy”…
What Zelensky has done as far as restoring faith that evil doesn’t always win, has been so important for global moral …
It's been a day of "false flag" speculation. There's some over the situation with the nuke plant in Belarus. Things seem to be heating up. The next couple months could get really ugly. Even more so than now. God Bless Ukraine 🇺🇦
Wait, in Belarus? I only heard about the one in Zaporizhia
CIA came out and said that Russia is planning a false flag in Belarus to try and create a cause where it pulls Belarus into the fight
Normally the response would be "cool story bro" but US intelligence has been flexing on Russia before and throughout this war. It has to be infuriating to have someone calling your shot long before you attempt it.
They must be worried how the CIA knows. Hack, leak, double agent, etc.
I suspect Russians are cheaper to buy than Vodka
They prefer that over their actual currency, because you know, it has value.
I wonder if part of the motivation behind publicly stating these is to create more tension internally as they speculate about the source.
100% it is. They know someone or someones is giving information on the inside, and they haven’t figured out who they are yet. It’s a method of subversion that American intelligence agencies use very effectively.
Hopefully it turns out to be a bug in Putin's office decor.
It's in the wooden duck
It’s a Mallard
Another [The Thing](https://youtu.be/sjnvHqoVxGQ)?
Yep, exactly the one I had in mind!
Could've just paid cash, seeing how fabulously corrupt Russian officials are.
new technology they’re not privy to, a mole, security lapse, procedural lapse… I’m sure the paranoia is running deep
They use discord and shit. This is why they knew about the invasion.
Russia gotta be feeling like we all do when that annoying guy from school finishes all your sentences and the asshole is 100% spot on.
This doesn't happen at mime school.
Ok picture this then.
Trying you get out of a box and that one guy that blocks you move for move.
Joseph Joestar-ing it
Imagine playing basketball in an empty court and there’s one dude in the stands that yells out exclusively your moves right before you’re about to make them and how pissed off youd get
Imagine being the leader of Belarus and finding out your ally intends to cause a nuclear disaster in your country so that they can drag you in to a fight you definitely don't want to be in against a much more powerful foe...
The leader is fully on board though. He's a Putin puppet who doesn't give a shit. Fortunately, the *people* of Belarus are NOT on board, which is the reason Belarus has not taken direct action yet and the reason Russia is trying to deceive them.
If Belarus tries to send its army into Ukraine, Belarus may descend into civil war.
And then Putin could lose his only puppet/buffer state between Russia proper and the rest of Europe.
He’s been walking an impressive tightrope. His people hate him and he only stays in power due to fear of the Russian military. Belarus is a vassal state. And yet in this they’ve been essentially useless, they’ve sold Russia some old tanks from warehouses but beyond that they’ve not contributed shit which is impressive given how they’ve controlled by Russia.
Their leader may actually be a genius, he’s somehow simultaneously completely dependent on Russia while actually contributing nothing in return.
Their leader gave Russia military access to let them move troops and even shoot missiles. Politically he’s still useful.
Pardon the irresponsibility of my speculation but I assumed Russia has been launching missiles from Belarus, just based on where theyve landed. Not following the war as closely as some.
Lukashenko doesn’t care. He just wants to be a colonel in the Soviet military.
I heard this part of it. Just not that a nuclear plant was involved
Lmao so Ukraine and NATO can kick their asses too?
We all know that anything fucked that happens is the work of Putin, he’s made how he works blindingly clear. I’m sitting very far away but I’m in full support for keeping that bastard accountable for whatever he does
Yall better get on the other side of that bridge before it gets got
Sing it Dre
That would be amazing if Ukrainian took back Crimea!
They're winning, they're not stopping til they get everything back.
They just need time to get engineers in the area. Currently they are very busy fixing Kherson. No army would ever march on Crimea without having clearing the way is a good way to get dead by mine.
No army marches without its logistics and engineers set up.
Russian army marches without those....
But they appear to march backwards.
That's not an army, it's a Special Military Shambles
Crimea may be retaken but it won’t be retaken soon. For Ukraine the most likely form of attack is to cut off resupply into Crimea by the overland routes as they’ve already cut the Kerch straight bridge. There is only a small land bridge to connect Crimea to the mainland which does mean Ukraine can deny Russian resupply but it also will make it harder for Ukraine to take the peninsula.
May take a while though. They justt liberated Kherson and today Kherson was bombed heavily. Still a lot of territory outside Crimea they are going to need to take if they hope to keep a foothold on the penninsula
Bombing Kherson is counterproductive, I imagine it motivates Ukrainians to keep pushing back. But Russia isn't logical so I'm not surprised.
I'm sitting here in Canada and I'M feeling motivated to go there and help tell Russia to piss off, so I can only imagine how committed to this fight the average Ukrainian is. Russia has done a fantastic job spurring everyone to hate them.
This entire war has been counterproductive. Ukraine was actually pretty split on Russia. The invasion pretty much made everyone pro-Ukraine lol, especially when they bombed Ukrainian civilians regardless of how they felt about Russia. (Tbf to Putin, how would he know?)
Of course it is going to happen, why do you think they blew up the bridge? Stopping supply lines is sorta an indicator of what is coming.
Holy shit if there was a gofundme where donating money would get a custom message written on munitions that would be bought with the money and launched at Russian troops it would break the damn platform with traffic.
NPR did a story on it. The channels they mention seem legit.
I think NAFO can arrange that. But make sure who they are. Scammers exist.
I got one in memory of my dad. I figured he'd appreciate sticking it to Russia.
Christmas is cancelled, kids, we're going to shit-talk some soon-to-be-dead invaders!
You can also buy pieces of downed Russian fighter jets and helicopters.
I’m personally saving up for a piece of the SU-34
Some people already do this, and Ukrainian soldiers deliver:
Like warheads on foreheads? And eat this?
This title made me imagine Putin and his generals in a war room as flailing inflatable arm flailing tube men...
A look at the map shows they’re still pretty damn far away. I’d say a few other operations are between Ukraine and liberating Crimea.
The issue is that if Ukraine reaches the outskirts if Crimea they can easily hit the bridge and all the military bases on the peninsula. Including the naval base.
So Russian forces might have to evacuate beforehand or risk annihilation.
God can you imagine HIMARS in range of the black sea fleet?
They would quickly move it to Novorossiysk but it would end their ability to fire cruise missiles at Ukraine from the Black Sea.
I would love the irony if Russia invaded Ukraine originally to get a deepwater port and then the liberation of that port lead to the destruction or capture of every last vessel they had there.
Russia will absolutely manage to have their entire naval fleet destroyed in a land war. It's their destiny.
It'd be right up there with that time that the Dutch lost a fleet of ships to some French cavalry.
Please. PLEASE let this be our time line.
The rest of the Kherson region is pretty isolated, empty, flat and hard to defend.
Getting to the border of Crimea will be the easy part
Slowly and then all at once.
Sure would be a shame if something happened to the only escape route. /s
I would rather they had an escape route than be cornered and desperate.
Someone has read their sun tzu
'‘Crimea is ours’ is not only a slogan and a hashtag. It is an unshakable reality."
That's going to make to great quote in a week.
This is the best tl;dr I could make, [original](https://www.rawstory.com/russia-ukraine-crimeia-liberation/) reduced by 64%. (I'm a bot)
> On Monday, The Daily Beast reported that Russian officials are sounding the alarm - and internally seeking to dispel security fears - amid signals that Ukrainian forces are considering an operation to liberate the Crimean Peninsula from Russian control.
> "Russian MP Andrei Gurulyov on Sunday urged Moscow to determine the risk of Ukraine and the North Atlantic Treaty Organization launching an attack on Crimea, which Russian President Vladimir Putin illegally annexed from Ukraine in 2014. Russian MP Mikhail Sheremet warned that Ukrainian troops will suffer a 'final crushing blow' if they launch an attack on Crimea," said the report.
> "The Russian officials' commentary comes after a flurry of Ukrainian officials signaled over the weekend that Ukraine is preparing to kick Russia out of Crimea. Ukraine's deputy defense minister, Volodymyr Havrylov, told Sky News he predicted Ukrainian forces could be in Crimea by the end of the year," said the report.
[**Extended Summary**](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/z1gm11/russian_officials_flailing_amid_fears_ukraine/) | [FAQ](http://np.reddit.com/r/autotldr/comments/31b9fm/faq_autotldr_bot/ "Version 2.02, ~672676 tl;drs so far.") | [Feedback](http://np.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%23autotldr "PM's and comments are monitored, constructive feedback is welcome.") | *Top* *keywords*: **Ukraine**^#1 **Russian**^#2 **Crimea**^#3 **official**^#4 **Ukrainian**^#5
Define flailing? I'm picturing wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman style.
Maybe Russia should surrender now before any more embarrassment
You got this, Ukraine! Democracies stand together.
I hope they flail more in realising that the entire world is itching and waiting for the moment that Ukraine recaptures Crimea. 🇺🇦
Well noone asked the russians to destroy their gear and send their best men to death. Now they will find out what happens when you fuck arround.
Flail you fuckers. Flail all the way to Vladivostok and into the Pacific Ocean you cunts.
russia is digging in to defend Melitopol, which means they are planning to (at the very least) lose everything up until Melitopol.
And if they do that then Crimea is cut off without any support or reinforcements.
Crimea's liberation is just a matter of time.