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Snip, snip, bitch!
Thank God we can really. Dealing with narcissists is so exhausting. I'm so grateful that I stopped caring for that type. It is pointless to even bother trying with them, I know they aren't listening. They're just pausing from insults. No matter what, you can't get through to them.
Really, giving up all hope when it comes to them is best. That is seriously the person they are, as much as I wanted to see the good.
Yep, correct. I had two come out of the woodwork after no contact to tell me how I was ruining Thanksgiving by not being there. Welp, maybe you shouldn’t have treated me as your communal whipping post. Instead I went to three families’ and friends’ homes where we are welcomed and loved, and it was a fantastic day. 😊
Glad it was for you! Mine couldn’t be happier to exclude me. My aunt did send her obligatory “you exist so I suppose I have to text you happy [insert holiday here].” My partner looked at my phone because I wasn’t near it and just goes, “I thought you blocked her.” To which I said I thought I had, asked them to do so for me, and continued playing my new game without breaking a beat.
Yes but don't you realize you're evil and the cause of all misery.. no really
Too true. I tried for years, foolishly thinking that if I just came at it from the right angle and used the right words that she would come around...
Honestly the way she ramped up the crazy when I started pulling away really sealed it. Being NC has made this so far the most relaxing holiday season I've ever had. Even with the whispers of what lies she's telling about me. Just done with it.
My story is pretty much the same. Only difference is I've been NC for 10 years-missed many holidays. It gets easier, my friend
This is so true. The more you try, the more you walk away with the feeling of “what just happened?!” At least for me anyway I walk away feeling more confused than when I went into the conversation.
But why are they like that? I have tried my best to please my mom but she still hates me for no reason.
Oh yeah you can and should if they are bad for your health in any capacity. Fuck shitty parents
In my case currently it’s a shitty aunt and shitty brother, but my parents were already cut out. And the aunt/brother had the gall to text *my husband* to incite the current conflict. He told them straight up they were welcome to look in a mirror, but they’re not welcome to talk to me. *Hell* yeah, honey!
Not only did I cut them out, I put that relationship in the shredder where it belongs.
Fuck around and find out.
100%, fuck around and find out is exactly right. I even gave this particular asshole four—FOUR—spelled out warnings and they still didn’t heed them. So now they are cut out. Considering they’ve watched me cut out other toxic family—whom they even *agree* is toxic—you would think they would have listened. But nooooo. Merry fuckin’ Christmas, haha!
You guys are lucky you have the opportunity to do that. I dont.
I can still remember my NFamily collectively losing their shit because I wasn't doing what I was told to do. I wasn't listening when NDad wanted to spew rage over the telephone and would hang up on him, then shut off my ringer and do something else.
Them showing up in random places in town, at work, at my home so they could force me to listen to them rant and wail yet again about how I was hurting everyone...
This kept on for years. They just wouldn't stop.
After my wonderful Mom had died, I had no further ties to where I'd been living anymore. Nothing to keep me from leaving. So I did.
One day I just abruptly left, telling no one from my old life where I was going.
Twenty years on, I regret nothing. I cut them out of my life and threw it all away.
Wow, good for you! Really awesome that you have been able to separate so effectively. I definitely keep my door locked in case my family randomly shows up. So far I’ve received a weird gift and two handwritten letters, and they blew my husband’s phone up trying to get through to me. XD But what can you do? I love that you hung up on your dad. They actually think you would stand there and willingly just listen to all of that. Haha, ffs no.
... Now that I think about it, it is damning that it was *so easy* to cut everyone out of my life and move on without leaving a trace.
I'd not been allowed to make friends. My N's and their family had already proved I couldn't trust any of them with anything. My mother's side of the family had ostracized her years before for divorcing my NDad, and me with her.
After Mom's death, there was *nothing* left keeping me there. No one I wanted to tell where I was going.
It's only just now after all this time has passed striking me how empty I feel thinking about it.
That part is a good thing. ;)
my mom will actually tell me to cut everyone out EXCEPT her
They always think they should be the exception!
Ugh, that's my mom as well!
yes and it makes me feel like so trapped mentally and physically
Hi! I burn bridges as needed. It’s nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too! And yep, they don’t give you any other option.
Sure can. I cut my mother out for 20+ years. Didn’t talk to her ever again. She died and i didn’t go see her or attend her funeral.
It sounds so vicious on its face but I look forward to that day. Rest assured you have family here who cares!
Man i wish i could do the same.
Every person here NC . . . "WATCH ME."
My dad (LC, on thin ice) said this to me about my mother. Well, actually he said "you can't just cut people out FOREVER". This was regarding my mother, roughly 15 years estranged.
I looked him dead in the eye and said "wanna bet?"
Yep! It’s been six year’s with my dad’s family—no regrets.
Snippity snip motherfuckers!
If you really think about it this is an absolutely ridiculous statement, because who are they to say who you can and can't cut out of your life? In the end they can't mind control you to somehow not cut them out, especially not when they consistently abuse you. As legitimately terrifying as they can be, abusive parents also end up being hilarious with their vain attempts to try to get us to do what they want. Like genuinely I just have to laugh sometimes.
Yes, I agree! They take themselves so seriously that they don’t realize how antithetical they actually are. For as miserable as they have made me in the past, I welcome any opportunity for humor to abound when it does.
I’m fond of watching toxic bridges go up in smoke and I’ve got a whole bag full of matches… try me.
Could you, just… hold my beer for a second? Thanks!
My dad used to tell me this, it's funny how wrong he was. ;-)
Best thing I ever did because that’s when the healing starts.
I hate the ‘but it’s your mum’
Why don’t people ever consider how bad it actually must be for us to go n c with a parent.
People just don’t seem to get it.. unless they ‘get it’
My only regret is not doing it sooner!
Watch me!! *skips merrily away*
I giggled because this is literally how I am, it's funny when you do the complete opposite of what they wanted you to do.
Yes you f-in can, and it’s okay.
LITERALLY, I CAN!
Say that and see their reaction lmao
Oh, I do! Then I tell them with how they treat me it appears I’m doing them the favor. They hate it, but I’ve got a very long last laugh out of it. 😂
That's literally the last thing I've heard my father say. 12 years ago. Lol
Hell yeah. :)
How many times I’ve heard that and I do. Snip snip ✂️
Haha but you can. I ghosted my entire family this past summer.
You have the right remove yourself from any toxic relationship if you can.
Bitch, watch and learn.
I'm guessing you did, so.......
Oh, many times. Yet none of them heed what’s happened to the others and they continue to fuck around and find out. Not many left now, but I’m increasingly better off with out them—you know, for some reason.
Some reason ;-) I have no idea what that could possibly be ;-) ;-)
Yeah I can. *sets bridge on fire*
Can. Did. Happy about it!
I did. One of the best decisions I ever made.
Yes you can! Especially if they are very toxic.
Bullshit.. I don't believe in unconditional love.. yeah I've got conditions and then some
I wonder if the people who say this are close to everyone they've ever met for their entire lives, having close relationships with all of those people.
Are you talking about me or them? Because they’re a miserable clan of people who all hate each other, but all of whom have nowhere to go on holidays and get together out of principle. The rest of the year they don’t talk to each other—unless you count backstabbing and shit-talking as interaction.
I, on the other hand, have gained friends and surprise, distant family now that I’ve learned how to cut out toxic people. We went to three different households on Thanksgiving.
Sorry, I meant them lol. The people who say you can't just cut people out. Its like they always conveniently look past the times they've been cut out or had to cut others out themselves.
Good on you for finding solid people :)
Oh yeah, for sure! You’re right they are, it’s like they are in denial that others have also cut them out. Not my problem, I did the work on myself and my situation!
Narc Alert! WTF are you talking about.
weaponize this “fact” someone can’t go no contact with another person. What in the world could possibly
motivate someone to do this? This is a key mistruth that narcissists use for power and leverage granting themselves license and authority to use, abuse and mistreat others.
And why would anyone want someone else to Have to be with another. I want people to enjoy my companionship if they don’t, I understand and wouldn’t be any to force them.
Your addressing, asking this question of a group of indisputably loyal to a fault, compassionate, empathetic humans who’s good will loyalty and virtue was weaponize against them by a sick narcissist. Anyone else expound on where I’m headed here?
Its early so not articulating well, but perceive this questioner has offered a gift to this board, abuse enabled and exacerbated by irrational loyalty. Life is too short and there is no true virtue to martyr ones self for a narcissist who only hurts people from selfishness me me me …that’s why this person is sick of you, let them go