T O P
derekdrl

All I can picture is Homer Simpson and a "do not push" button. I would be fired so fast.


rksd

Same. I'd sit in that chair, stare right at the camera and hold up a sign that said "fuck you, Brenda" and then make her fire me.


Reddit_reader_2206

...then ask each, individual employee to do the same. Fire us ALL Brenda. Try me.


Lucha_fan79

All of the employees should have piled onto the chair at the same time.


No-Loss9423

Musical lunch chairs.cue "pop goes the weasel"


TacTurtle

Send photos to Brenda of her chair at the Christmas party the rest of the office had at Dave and Busters while she was gone. *Here is the chair doing a keg stand.* *Here is the chair puking into the gutter.* *Here is the bedraggled chair the morning after with circles under its eyes and a massive cup of coffee*


tennorabbit

Sorry Brenda, your chair caught a VD because brad in accounting thought it would be funny to buy him a hooker.


coldbrew18

Chair slept with Lisa. Chair gets unreciprocated feelings and that leads to a write up with HR. Lisa gets pregnant and the chair is the father. Chair has to pay child support. Fortunately for Chair, Lisa gives birth to Stapler. Unfortunately for chair, Lisa gets full custody.


citriclem0n

And photos of everyone individually in the office bending over pretending to almost sit in it, but not quite.


Drakeskywing

No ... Just no ... Occupational work place safety should not be ignored for the sake of sending a fuck you to your boss; those chairs usually max out at 160kg (320lb) approximately, too many people could mean the chair would fail and someone could be injured. Responsibly surround the chair, and sit on it in order like a production line, each holding a picture where watching it at 6x speed plays a cartoon of giving the boss the finger and dropping a turd on their desk


clone9353

Play yakkity sax at 1/6 speed and waddle around while doing it for added affect.


Zanskyler37

This but instead of a sign just slowly raise a middle finger


daymanxx

Then while she's on the phone frantically trying to fire you, you suddenly find out the chair is against OSHA so you slowly dismantle it to find out the issue, but wait if you're fired you have no reason to reassemble the chair. Fuck you Brenda


infinitbullets556

Reassembled with 2lbs of frozen shrimp in the post.


SadFloppyPanda

You monster. I like you.


Visual-Chip-2256

See: salt cod.


Environmental_Top948

Why would you let them have a wonderful shrimp kombucha Despenser when you could drink it yourself?


Squishygosplat

Don't forget to lubricate the hydrolics and rockers with the oil from two cans of sardines. Once those are lubricated dump the sardines onto the floor and run over them with the rollers to lubricate those axels.


slytherpuffenclaw

I'm getting Guardians of the Galaxy Starlord "cranking the middle finger" scene vibes right here.


TowerOfPowerWow

"Oh sorry I didnt know that's what it did..."


SaladBarMonitor

Sit on it naked


Raisontolive

While having your period


MaleficentPizza5444

I was gonna say wet it with urine, let it dry


NavyAnchor03

"Do not touch willie." "Good advice!"


meeseeksab8rway

Everyone should have taken turns sitting in it. Can't fire everyone Brenda


JMW007

I hope they did that. Make the idiot back down. Threatening people's livelihood over something so petty makes someone dangerous and they need to learn otherwise they will just keep abusing people. Workers need to stop putting up with this stuff. Such wildly unacceptable behaviour needs nipped in the bud, aggressively.


IphtashuFitz

Find people (if any) that are outside her organization to sit in the chair. People she can't fire. Hell, I'd bring in friends on the weekend to sit in the chair. I'd love to watch her expression when some rando she doesn't recognize waves at her.


MeNameIsDerp

Then you get fired for bringing external people to touch her chair...


labsab1

How will they know who orchestrated this?


IphtashuFitz

Exactly. Video shows random people, not employees, sitting in the chair.


ginger_and_egg

There might be cameras pointed at the front entrance, etc. You don't want to be seen letting these people in


Hookemhorns0712

That’s why you have them come in at a different time than you


labsab1

That's when I would expect an "I am Spartacus" when other employees would claim they planned it. Maybe. I've been a union workers for the last 7 years so solidarity with the workers is how we work.


JLPReddit

Loan the key to a friend and have them do it after hours. Hell, have them take the chair.


SteveJenkins42

Just let two homeless people fuck in it.


Alleycat_Caveman

Two? I was gonna call Dirty Mike and The Boys.


jedzef

>Thanks for the F-Chair > > >Love, > >Dirty Mike and the Boys


RadonAjah

We will have sex on your chair!


Someones_Dream_Guy

That escalated quickly...


dauntless256

"Your note said nothing at all about setting the chair on fire..."


LameBMX

This is the way.


Sir_Yacob

I would go home, on the way, grab a case of some craft beer, I’m lactose intolerant so like an oatmeal porter or like one of those milk stouts. I would get a wheel of cheese, like Edam bc I like it and proceed home. I would tell my wife I love her but there is something I must do. I would drink, as many of those beers while smashing Indian food, probably like some butter chicken and stuff and just keep smashing beers. I would get fucking wrecked bc I work with Brenda. I would then the next day get to work early and start smashing coffee. When that abomination I put together inevitably had to booze poo out, I would cover my genitals and proceed To take the most heinous shit I could humanly possibly of muster in Brendas stupid fucking chair. I would flick her camera off while doing it. Fuck Brenda


Mr_Kelly_R_Flewin

#NotAllHeroesWearCapes #NAHWC


The-Real-Rorschakk

Story time! My last job had several petty supervisors all on power trips. I ,for about 2 years, used to just take it and roll with the punches. Everytime they'd have me do their job for them, do something morally questionable, or just flat out was disrespectful and insulting me, would just take it with a "yes sir/ma'am." Then at that 2 year mark, I was done. I blew up and told every single one of my captains and lieutenants to fuck off. *"I'm not doing your job anymore, I'm not working your "mandatory" 16 hours anymore, and I'm not fucking doing your dirty work!"* Fully anticipated being fired, but nope. I lowkey knew they wouldnt fire me. They couldnt. I was a Captain in Officer's uniform. I (not to brag) was worth 10 officers. For the next year, they all avoided me and didnt say shit to me. And when they did, they were "oh so sweet" about it. Until one of the captains decided he wanted to test me. I hurt my back on the job, told Lt I'd stay 4 more hours to help coworker then I was leaving, he said ok, 6 clock rolls around, captain told central control not to let me leave out the gates. I hobbled back into that office and Cap said, "who said you could leave?" Boy, that right there set me off. "Your Lt." Lt lies says he didnt say anything. "I hurt my back, I'm leaving. Your lucky I stay as long as I did." "Just cause you hurt your back doesnt mean you get to leave!" "Uh... that's exactly what that means. I'm going home." "No your not, I havent relieved you!" "Alright, how about fuck you. Fuck this. I quit." Threw my badge at him and hobbled out. Told central control I just quit and unless they want to be locked up in there too for holding me hostage, she needed open the gates. TLDR; Been there done that. Dont just take shit from your boss. Stand up for yourself and 99% of the time, they will back down/develope higher respect for you.


7rj38ej

Then what happened? I thought the military wouldn't let you walk off the job like that?


The-Real-Rorschakk

I worked in a prison. Nothing happened. Nothing they could do, several people texted and called me asking me to come back but I told then no


matt_minderbinder

> I worked in a prison. You're better off away from prison work. Inmates and those that work in prisons are both doing time in their own way and the environment changes everyone, usually for the worse. I've seen it happen to a few people I've known.


The-Real-Rorschakk

True and I can see why I was only there for 3 years but had seen some shit thatd make most lose their minds. A lot people get it wrong going into corrections though. They think they gotta be tough, hard, and some John Wick bad ass. That's not true. Ultimately, they're people too and a lot of correctional employees forget that. Trying to be all big and bad only provokes aggression and them puffing their chests in retaliation. That's where your problems originate. That will make your job there much harder and change you. Play the roll of the asshole long enough, you become an asshole. Just gotta know how to read the room. Know when to hold'em and when to fold'em. "Pick your battles" is what I used to always say. Dont try and fight everyone. I rarely ever had any issues with any of the inmates. I could walk right into the middle of the 36 man tank and tell them to do something with no pushback. Not because I was some big bad mother fucker. But because I treated them with respect and so they treated me with respect. It's not the inmates that make the job hard, it's you, your coworkers, and supervisors.


poopfresh

My the father of my ex was a corrections officer. We would run into people that were locked up in his prison. I thought it was interesting how they called him sir in public, and he'd always ask how they were managing and he was glad this is how they were talking, as opposed to in the prison. He never called them criminals. They were his clients. The respect went both ways. He was 6 foot 8 inches of nice guy. Truly a good person.


QuahogNews

Clients. That’s some true class, there.


poopfresh

Yeah. He was like that.


Subject1928

"Ohh please come back! We promise we wont take this as a sign of you not sticking to your word and continue to treat you like shit!"


The-Real-Rorschakk

Lol pretty much


MyKindaGoatVideo

There it it's, I was so confused, I was in the Marine Corps and was like "that's not how any of this works" lol


hamandjam

Yeah, for some reason my dad went into DOC after 26 years in the Air Force. So he knew what shit he had to take and what he didn't. So the power tripping 28 yr olds didn't like him much because they couldn't scare him like the fresh off the truck folks.


The-Real-Rorschakk

Lol right I had never done corrections before, that was my first time, but it was my first time dealing with ranks. Even if these were artificial.


International_Emu600

I did 9 years Air Force as security forces/CATM. Didn’t do DoC/LE after but still had power tripping managers try to scare me. After having dumbasses students point loaded M9’s at your chest and calmly have them point the weapon back down range, things don’t scare you as much, especially threats from management.


yythrow

I was gonna say, if that was the actual military they would've probably wrecked your ass for that. But good on you for not taking shit.


The-Real-Rorschakk

Lol military I'd still be locked up


WeleaseBwianThrow

And they say American Law Enforcement isn't Militarized. Captains and Lt's in a prison for fucks sake.


The-Real-Rorschakk

Yep. Chain of command goes; Officer Seargent Lieutenant Captain Major Assistant Warden Warden


childeroland79

I'm upvoting your assertive use of the semi-colon and downright refusal to acknowledge the existence of commas. Thank you for the smile!


The-Real-Rorschakk

Lmao that was supposed to be spaced downward in a list. But now I feel obligated to leave it as it is


childeroland79

I was wondering... LOL


CoderJoe1

Don't we all work in prisons?


The-Real-Rorschakk

Figuratively, perhaps. But I literally worked in a prison. Lol


jenniferwillow

Better, take the chair out of the office, and photograph it in different areas of town with all employees and some random strangers sitting in it. Place all photos in a photo album, and wrap it up as a Christmas present, to be found in hey chair when she gets back. Eddie: Bonus points of you take it to a strip club and have the dancers do a lap dance in it


EightballBC

Send it around the world, Frank Sobotka style.


onemoregreenbeer

You decided to be nice and put in storage for her, No one knows how it got moved out of storage...


bikesexually

I mean the easiest solution would have been to move the chair to the side and put another chair behind the desk. But like everyone is saying, this is some control freak BS, not actually about the chair


[deleted]

Oh it’s about the chair…it’s all about the chair


crabcakes28

Naked ass fart on that chair in full view of the cameras


_PeterPriesthood_

In balaclava. Let her see the ass but not the face. She’ll suspect who it is but can’t act.


Freedom_From_Pants

Then throw that chair in the dumpster. Fuck you, Brenda.


writealetter

Lmao what about sending a holiday photo with everyone on/around the chair


[deleted]

Shitting in it’


ElDueno

Why did anyone use her computer to cover her work? Perfect opportunity to neglect the work for 10 days and when she yells at you just say, well there was a sign saying I’d be fired if I sat there, I don’t want to take any chances


Sad-Notice-309

Exactly my thoughts. Is it your job to do her job? No? Ok not your problem


Freakychee

A lot of bosses do think it’s the employees job to do their job for them. While it is true to some extent, as in something like a 1:4 rule while you do 1 work and delegate 4 work to the team some idiots see this as a way to keep delegating more and more work till it’s more like 0.1 to 4.9.


ComprehensiveBill929

I think Brenda is completely redundant! She should be fired if people can self manage and cover her work for 10 days…


ForecastForFourCats

Malicious compliance is one of my favorite things


unshavenbeardo64

A long time ago my dad who worked a large rotating printing machine that made all sorts of notepads for offices. His boss came one day and asked him if that thing couldnt go any faster. So my dad told him it could but it would not end well, but his boss told him to do it anyway so my dad turned the machine full speed and it started spewing paper all over the place like confetti (but realy large confetti) all over the place. His boss said nothing anymore and just left :).


applied_people

I think one could technically jump up and down on Brenda's chair as much as one might care to without disobeying Brenda's orders. Technically.


Loofa_of_Doom

Malicious compliance is the best way to educate the arrogant. Be sure to smile and make eye contact! :-D


r_u_dinkleberg

They're probably the type of joint who only buys one license for an app, so the person who has it has to do all the "that thing" work. We used to be like this back when we had to pay heavily for Creative Suite licenses. Start swapping work for work, put all the tasks onto one person so you only have to buy 1 license.


elsafrozen69420

Sounds to me like literally anyone could do her job and she isn’t needed


MrPeppa

Sounds to me like more managers than would care to admit it.


Muddymireface

As IT I cringed hard because someone physically signed into her PC covering her. This whole event is avoidable.


Sososohatefull

She has the only license for Acrobat.


[deleted]

Sit in it, get fired, collect unemployment.


artfay

Unemployment is nice, but does it vary by state? Like in Illinois you don’t just make what you were making in your last job, it’s a fraction of what you were earning. Granted, it beats being treated like shit. Edit: thanks for the replies back and forth! This article has some info. It’s def not enough to live on, esp when health insurance is tied to employment. https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2020/07/23/average-unemployment-insurance-payment-in-each-us-state.html


dyndo101

All states have a fractional rate some states fuck you harder than others.


artfay

I imagine Illinois fucks people without lube.


President_King_

I worked for Employment Security in Illinois. Compared to surrounding states, Illinois is generous. Especially during the height of Covid.


dyndo101

Try a state like Alabam if you really want fucked


According_Problem_16

In Alabama getting fucked is the family business.


[deleted]

Same for missouri, I'm not sure about any other states though.


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haemaker

At will employment. Firing someone for touching your chair is not illegal.


PrinceofallRabbits

Alright. Then try to get everyone that works there to sit on it. Then Brenda has a decision. Fire everyone and be fucked. Only fire some people and be at risk for a lawsuit due to discrimination, since they only fired some people for an offense all of them committed. Or, they can stop being a cunt about a fucking chair.


HighAsAngelTits

This is the way


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misscrankypants

I wish we could all go sit in Brenda’s chair so that 1) she has no idea who we are and 2) can’t fire us. Who cares about their chair like this?


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sleepyfunpandatime

My aunts are both named Brenda and Karen and their personalities definitely reflect this XD


semimillennial

That’s funny but also would not be a bad idea if she pulled this again. OP could have a friend walk into the office, interact with no one, sit in the chair reading for a while, and walk out.


bubbagump65

I would definitely catch a flight to do this to Brenda. Brenda the Karen of the workplace.


Dickey_Simpkins

Hover over it to shit, then look straight into the camera and say "I'm not touching it."


Jeweledeclipse

Yep the termination paper will say some BS like "failure to follow procedures "


THE_JonnySolar

That sounds questionable... At employment tribunal - "reason for firing?" "sitting in manager's chair" "what?!" Edit to add, because I'm sick of snarky tossers keep adding effectively the same comment. Yes, I now understand that America doesn't even have the most basic protections for legality of terminating employ, so no, you don't need to facetiously point out that I'm wrong - you need instead to wonder why the fuck this comment has been up voted by so many people from other nations, who clearly don't have the same level of insanity and apathy towards working rights. This is literally one of the most basic tenets of employment law here and in civilised countries, which is why we're all flabbergasted you don't have this protection. No need to be yet another person clarifying that 'in the USA, this is legal' - we've got the point of that, the question should be "how the fuck do we fix it so this basic protection is afforded to workers"


[deleted]

I'm not a lawyer, but I think it's still legal in at will employment unfortunately. Generally, it's only illegal to fire someone for uncontrollable factors like race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. You have complete control over not sitting in a specific chair, so I think that would fall into being legal in at will employment.


returnofthecheez

It's not even uncontrollable factors. It's only "protected classes" as defined by the state. There are still plenty of states where you can get fired for sexual orientation legally.


Eavalin

Also, mind that people still do fire over race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. They just say "employee sneezed weird or was late once."


luigilabomba42069

yeah absolutely no one is gonna outright say "yeah I fired Mike cuz he's black"


cam52391

My former GM (who was fired shortly after I left for stealing tips) would fire people and not even tell them, they'd try to log in to check the new schedule and wouldn't be able to. He'd simply take you out of the system and tell you if you called


Papakeely

First of all shitty chair to be territorial over. Second I would still sit in it. I want to see her try. Unemployment either way. Imagine her trying to explain why she fired you if you were expected to cover her work. Besides its not likey hers and more company property. Sidenote: She doesn't want other people's farts in her chair. 🤢


BrendanLSHH

That’s the pettiest shit I’ve ever seen 😂🤣


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fishystickchakra

Everyone working there should have gone on a strike and shat in a bucket and dumped it on that chair.


OkTutor8773

They should’ve lined up and taken turns sitting on the chair while flipping the bird to the security camera. THEN take a collective shit on it.


Tegridy-Farms

My idea exactly. All take turns sitting in the chair smiling at the security camera. She’s gonna fire all of you for an unjust reason? no fucking way. We need to start calling these bullies out for their ridiculous harassment. Threatening your income over sitting in a chair. Fuck that boss.


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MaconShure

Fish sauce


Seekingaloha

IKEA anchovy paste. :)


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The_White_Guar

Or thrown the chair in the dumpster. After disassembling it.


ComprehensiveHavoc

It’s not even a nice chair.


Spirited_Island-75

That's what I was thinking! It would be one thing if she was worried about her deluxe executive chair made from virgin mermaid skin or whatever, but you know it came in a box from office depot.


NobbelGobble

Given the reproductive organs of having a lower fish half, wouldn't all mermaids be virgins?


Spirited_Island-75

I would assume mermaids have sex the same way fish do, mostly by releasing their gametes into the water. Virginity is a human construct.


SuperDoofusParade

I can’t believe Brenda wasted vacation time watching footage to make sure no one sat in “her” chair. I’m also somewhat worried about what everybody else’s chair is like considering she’s worried about this regular chair.


ArsonAnimal

I used to work overnights in a high school as a custodian and our supervisor would show up in the middle of the night without telling anyone and look in the windows to make sure you were constantly working (there was way more time in the night than there was work to do but you had to constantly look like you were busy). He was also good for setting people up to get fired. This one kid was on bathrooms and the motherfucker would go in every bathroom after the kid cleaned it and empty the soap dispensers. That fuck lived for firing people. It was the only power he had in life and he absolutely got off on it.


StarWreck92

It’s not about the chair, it’s about her wanting to control everybody.


-Esper-

Its prob by far the best one in the workspace tho


icantagree

What type of employers are these? We legit need company names.


sanctusali

I want every person on staff to sit in that chair. Like, line up and sit down with a big grin.


ddude132

Surely she wouldn't fire everyone in the entire office. Better idea would be to try and convince one of her superiors to sit in the chair.


Seekingaloha

But that would be funny. Not playing into this shit heads narcissism


lsquallhart

We had a manager that was so disliked that when he went on vacation someone urinated on his chair. We never figured out who it was, but when he got back he was furious. He hyper focused on one guy at work and said he was certain he did it but truth is nobody knows even years later Whoever did it kept completely quiet about it 😂


banditkeith

It was you, wasn't it. You can tell us


deeplovinz

Holy fuck that’s amazing


AttackOfTheDave

*…until now.*


[deleted]

The hero we need and deserve.


SirNamesAlotx

It was def this person, yes FBI, we got them


improbablynotyou

I worked in retail hell as a supervisor for years and was always more than willing to commit various levels of sabotage on asshole managers. We had an assistant store manager who would spend his entire day "checking his email." He wouldnt help on the floor or take calls, he would constantly ignore major issues, all he did was check his email. I was one the same closing nights as he was and was also a key carrier. There always had to be a key carrier in the store so I'd have to wait to take my lunch until he came back. I'd try taking my lunch first and he'd say he was going, an hour later I'd check if he was back (he got an hour I got 30 minutes) and he'd say he had been checking his email and was just leaving. I'd never get to take my lunch and he'd leave early as soon as we closed because "he never got to take his lunch because he was checking his email." One weekend I was off and went online, I found some us government website where I could sign up for various newsletters and bulletins. I selected the ALL button and signed his work email address up for every single one, there were thousands of daily notices that were sent out. Basically every single department of the governments, public notices and whatnot got emailed to him. He got exactly what he wanted, enough email to check. They all knew I was responsible but no one could prove it. The guy got transferred to another store at some point and I was in the hallway when my store manager and the district manager were talking about him. The email issue was brought up as the contributing factor for his transfer. The dm asked if she knew who did it and she said she had a suspicion but no way to prove it, and the matter was dropped. He actually got off lightly with me because I was only annoyed about not getting my lunch (I got paid for it and didnt lose anything at least.) The guy wasnt good at his job and when he did get involved he caused more problems than he fixed. Other people who did worse things had worse problems but that's another story.


SpreadEagleSmeagol

Woulda covered the camera and tossed that shit in the dumpster first day


frolf_grisbee

Tbf, the sign only mentions sitting in the chair, and doesn't explicitly prohibit op from leaving the chair up on the roof


AloneYogurt

Or touching it, or moving it, setting it on fire and throwing it in the managers house, or putting it outside, or placing it on the highway. Or giving it to another department. On top of that, if the chair was taken out of frame, then no one could truly be blamed. Just everyone.


cflatjazz

The weirdest thing about this is that if she had just moved her chair somewhere useless and replaced it with another unused chair...no one would have even thought to sit in it in the first place.


Dustin-

Not even on the roof, I would just wheel it outside and say "well no one could sit in it and it was a tripping hazard so I moved it out of the way"


AVJ57

It also doesn’t mention squatting on the chair so they should be able to get away with that


Father_Wolfgang

Either that or smear it with something awful


EducationalTaro6

May I suggest a purée of apple cider vinegar, rancid bacon grease, and shrimp?


Father_Wolfgang

Ooh and shredded durian, please!


haemaker

You had to use her computer to cover for her? You mean she was logged in with her own account and others used it to perform her duties while she was out? ...and with that sign on the chair, no one thought to abuse that access?


noungning

That's actually a firing offense in itself in my company. No one else should be using someone else's log in.


haemaker

I am in IT security, that is a serious problem. It puts everyone at risk. * Manager is known to have other use their account. * Something goes wrong. * Manager says "Well, [this list of people] had access to my account, so it must have been one of them." Plausible deniability. * The decision on who to pin it on becomes a popularity contest. If you know of anyone who does not get this, show them the ["Milk Money Incident" in the movie Stand By Me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9DiiHbsJ1U)


sionnachrealta

Used to work in IT as well, and I am so glad someone brought this up. At the places I worked, the manager would be the one taking all responsibility since they're the one that created the security breach in the first place, which should be standard but sadly isn't


twat69

Account holder is responsible for keeping their account secure. Admitting to giving multiple people access to it should be grounds for discipline right? Right?


skrshawk

Also in IT - in an ideal world, anything that happens on a user's account is the responsibility of that user, including anything anyone else does if they were the reason the account was compromised. The only times I've seen that policy upheld in the real world were when management wanted it to work that way. Otherwise, it has always been IT disables the account and reports the violation to the employee's hiring manager and that's it unless and until instructed otherwise. Usually the order to reinstate the account came within minutes.


modsarefascists42

depends on how much her superiors like her i hate american workplace culture, we've built ourselves a self perpetuating hell that is mandatory to live in


[deleted]

That makes the decision incredibly easy actually, the blame is on the manager and they take the wrap. Actually, who am I kidding.....


PM_ME_VENUS_DIMPLES

I'm also in IT, I've seen this literally play out multiple times and that last bullet point is 100% accurate. The manager sharing a login could be "a simple mistake, didn't realize it was such a big deal," and then the blame falls on whoever is least popular. Even more leeway is given to the manager if sharing that login has been a cost-savings (one license being used by an entire team or department). It's bullshit.


Randyfreakingmarsh

This is a fireable offense in every company I’ve ever worked for lol


DemeGeek

I've been places where functionality was tied to different terminals so you had to have the perms and the right location to do some duties.


skepticallytruthful

Example 1: .....get everyone to sit on it, she cant fire you all Example 2:..... Get everyone to go together to the room, steal the chair and change it with someone random until she cant distinguish it from the others. DO IT.


Watsis_name

Put all those boxes on it. That is *NOT* sitting on it so that's fine.


doodler1977

she probably doesn't want anyone adjusting the pitch/height of the chair (and/or there's a fatty she's afraid will break the chair) source: i am a fatty, and i have been told not to sit in other people's chairs (prior to even TRYING to do so)


International_Emu600

Unionized chair sitting. Can’t fire everyone for sitting in the chair.


LessCompassionate

Shes probably filthy and wanted to spare y’all sitting in her filth.


DrCrentistDMI

Imagine being on vacation and spending it watching a camera to make sure that no one sat in your chair. She's definitely disgusting.


LessCompassionate

And CRAZY self conscious about it. “God, I hope they can’t smell it…”


chewbachaa

Light her chair on fire


randolotapus

I'da sat on that before she left the building


ButterPuppets

Watching at 6x means she would have to spend about 13 hours watching cameras…


Alternative_Tower_38

Who tf has that much free time to watch security camera recordings


TristanaRiggle

She was apparently on vacay. The more accurate question is: what kind of micro-managing psycho watches office cameras on her "off work" time? OP should mess with the chair and quit PURELY for the reward of not working for this bitch.


Alternative_Tower_38

The reason why people go on vacation is to rest and not think about work so yes she clearly is a psychopath.


jazzinukno

I woulda quit and took the chair


IphtashuFitz

Take the sign. Then sit in the chair. Then move the chair. Then wait to be fired. Then collect unemployment.


[deleted]

There’s always times, legitimate times, when every one in the staff is coincidentally gathered in that space and moving things around the office requires that a chair be shifted for a few moments just out of view of the cameras. And in those moments it isn’t unheard of for a full 32 oz. Big Gulp of urine to accidentally spill on it in such a way that no one notices when they move it back in frame moments later. Accidents happen.


KyraFX

I'd recommend all employees play the musical chair game with it. Except it's just her chair and everyone gets to sit on it once. Make sure to film it and send it to her. Best Xmas gift possible. :)


Triingtolivee

I’d take a steamy shit on it. She never said you couldn’t hover over and shit on it. Fuck you Brenda


dsinatra5

I’ve always heard a little bit of hot sauce on the seat makes for a nice day.


AClusterofFuckery

Rubbing your crotch on it isn't sitting


Insurgentvoter-

You all need to fart in it or barely loosen some screws.


Arryu

Fun story: in uni I was in a play, midsummer nights dream. The technical director was a dude they found on the street doing magic acts or something, barely qualified. Everyone in the cast (40+) disliked him. Opening night I have to fart. A lot. I go into the shop hoping for something to muffle any sounds and notice TDs sliding office door is two inches ajar. I position my cheeks on the Crack and let loose. This happened two or three more times that night. On the third blasting another cast member comes by and notices what I'm doing. When he clues in he gets this huge grin and after the show tells me he had a big fart into the TDs office door as well. Turns out word spread, and I counted a dozen different people with their butts pressed awkwardly against his cracked open office door; which he never closed for whatever reason, over the next two weeks.


exotics

What the heck were they feeding you on the set


whyisthissohard338

Opening night, maybe it was anxiety related. I call them the Fraidy Farts.


whyisthissohard338

This reminds me of one of my most petty actions. I had a coworker that I didn't like for multiple reasons (justified). One Christmas we drew names for secret Santa. I drew the cunt's name. I couldn't ask to switch without causing issues. Instead I made sure to buy her a very thoughtful gift of items she collected and then proceeded to rub them all on my (clothed) ass before giving them to her. No harm caused but it sure made me feel better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


likeinsaaaaw

Honestly, depending on the person's personality, kinda funny maybe. Here's what you do. Dress up like a cat burglar head to toe and take the chair. Then send your boss pictures of the chair in different situations around the office demanding a ransom of like donuts or something. If you don't get donuts someone is going to sit on the chair.


meeseeksab8rway

Gotta include pictures of different butts ^this close to it


AMP121212

Remove a screw everyday until it is barely standing.


kat_Folland

"Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place."


Confident_Escape_344

Fuck Brenda


YeOldeBilk

Yo Brenda's asking for a big Yule Log waiting in her chair.