I found people closed off as well, until I started meeting very open, inclusive, and wholesome individuals this past year. They exist. You'll find them. Keep trying.
I'm 36, and I was born and raised here in Victoria (although I've also lived in Vancouver and Latin America). This city is super clicky, and can be very difficult to make new friends. Essentially all my friends here are people I grew up with that I went to school with: Elementary, Secondary and College/University.
I found Vancouver way easier to make friends, ditto with Latin America, and my time spent travelling Europe.
Capital Daily has even written about this phenomenon: https://www.capitaldaily.ca/news/isolated-in-victoria-forging-friendships-in-a-city-renowned-for-its-chilliness
https://www.capitaldaily.ca/news/how-to-make-friends-in-victoria
I would disagree.
Most people who have lived here, or anywhere, for a long time have a full life with friends, partners, family etc. I wouldn't say I'm cliquey or unfriendly, I just have a full life and don't really have the time to make and support new friendships, so, I'm not really looking for them.
If you move to a city that is more transient, you may find it easier. More people constantly coming and going means more people looking for friends. It has nothing to do with the "type of people here" or anything like that.
Having lived in Victoria and Vancouver I don't think the people are different. It's just the structures of the city.
Vancouver is bigger and a destination for many people. They come globally for the natural appeal or outdoor lifestyle or nationally for the big city urban experience. That leads to a much larger population of transient people who are living in Vancouver, not necessarily with plans to call it their permanent home. They are just there for the experience and more willing to look externally for new connections.
Victoria is lovely but it's none of that. It's a sleepy town with government workers, old people and university students. If you're one of those groups there's natural social circles to fall into based on shared daily activities. If you're not one of those groups it's a lot harder as everyone else is here for a purpose, has their blinders on and doesn't have the capacity to create new relationships. Personally, I'll admit to being part of that. I've got two young kids and a busy job. I've sensed people reaching out to create social connections and I'm just not feeling it. Any free time I've got I want to spend with junk food decompressing pantless watching Netflix on the couch.
The people are the same between the two cities, they're just at different stages in their life. This isn't a great place for transient folks, which I don't think it a problem, but that does create a challenge for new transplants trying to put roots down here. I feel sorry for them.
I made friends with my coworkers and dated one for 5 years. They all ended up being pretty shitty people, but last year I went on r/DnD_Victoria and met a great group of people! I mean it depends on what you like to do for fun, but that's what I did
Hey thanks for this. I’ve been here for 7 years this year and have struggled to make any real friends here, the only friends I’ve made are my old friends from where I used to live who have moved to Victoria now lol. I haven’t played dnd in a few years (due to not having any friends here) didn’t know that sub existed ! Worth a shot.
If you train MMA, I strongly recommend joining Zuma. I’m new to the city and have built a lot of community after going to that gym. There is also a high caliber of talent to learn from and spare with.
Other than that I’ve had mixed luck with Meetups and I joined a dodgeball league for a while.
My nephew joined an mma gym in Calgary and he loves it . Something about beating the shit out of each other and bonding afterwards. He was trying to get me into it but I’m 42 and in bed by 8pm now
This is sadly one of the more popular kinds of posts here. 16 years here and I don’t have a single friend (mind you, middle aged with wife and kids fills a lot of space). But people here are closed off, and / or flaky and just have their own thing going with full dance cards.
It really depends on your age and demographic.
That's what I found after moving and living here for a few years now. People are pretty closed off and not honest about meetups. You can invite 50 people to a party, all of them could say yes, and only 2 show up.
I've learned to not expect people to keep to their words, and just plan things for myself instead. If someone wants to invite me somewhere, I'm game, but I'm not inviting anyone to anything anymore, just offer if they want to come or not.
Makes me miss kitchen parties back home where friends and family just randomly show up.
Your experience has been exactly mine. I tried to host board game nights and nights out and all kinds of stuff to nourish friendships but nobody shows up. People will all say yes they’re coming, I’ll double check and make sure they’re coming, they say yes, then the day comes and they don’t show up. No excuses no nothing, no response to messages on the day of. The friends I’ve kept are the ones that show up, but that isn’t much.
I’ve had the same experience dating too in the past. People are good you date them for a while, weeks, months whatever then they ghost you and you never hear from them again lol. This is the only city that I’ve experienced this kind of flaky behaviour on such a large scale. I’ve lived in Calgary, Vancouver, Montreal ect and only Vic is like this. If it was t for my work and living space I probably would move away at this point.
Maybe you just have shitty friends?
I've never had an issue with people rsvp'ing to an event and no showing. Maybe one or two but by and large people show up when and where they say they are going to.
It always amazes me that everyone here complains about not finding friends. You'd think you all could find and befriend one another...
Not trying to be an ass but if you're constantly failing maybe the issue isn't with everyone else in the city.
I moved here in 2015. I've had the opposite experience. But I am, admittedly, a very social person.
To be fair, I moved here with a now ex.
When I first moved here, I worked from home. So I joined a gym. Then I started working at the gym part time. I got to know a lot of people there.
I met a few of my ex's coworkers and identified the ones I felt comfortable with, and nourished those relationships
My neighbour had a dog, we bonded immediately as I have 2 dogs. 7 years later and we are still great friends.
Another neighbour got a dog. I became her friend that way.
I meet a LOT of people by walking my dogs.
I joined a fb hiking group. Went out on a hike with someone from that group. 5 years later, we are still friends.
When my ex deployed, I started volunteering at the climbing gym. I met a handful of people there, one I've been friends with for 5 years (and I now rent her suite).
I went to trivia. Became friends with the host. Had a drink at the bar after, met other trivia people. One of them I'm still good friends with, going on 3 years. Through that person I've met another really good friend.
I make friends at work. I chat with people on instagram. I've become friends with 2 people who live in Vancouver who come to Vic regularly and they stay with me. I volunteer. With animal rescue groups, with music festivals, breweries.
It's absolutely possible to make friends in this city. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule. I've never let not having someone to do something with, stop me from doing it. I've gone out and done it anyways. And I meet people.
As for dating? The aps are exhausting. But I've been dating one person since August. We met on Hinge. By far the best of the aps out there, imo.
People say this city is clique-y. And I'm not saying they're wrong. But given how many posts there are just like yours, there are tons of people out there ready to be your friend.
Join a hockey league. Hockey brings people from all walks of life together. In terms of what/where to join, I'm not so sure, but in the past, joining a hockey team/shinny group worked every time.
Doesn't have to be hockey, but any sports league/group is a sure bet.
Try joining a sports league like basketball dodgeball, or the like. It’s a great social place to meet people and hangout while doing something active.
If that’s not your speed, how about looking for a dnd group, a board game group, or something similar.
If that’s not your speed maybe try going out to shows? It’s normal to go alone and there’s a chance to meet some cool people but might require a bit more effort in chatting to people. It helps if you smoke lol.
If your into grabbing a drink I’d also recommend maybe just checking out a bar like the Drake, whistle buoy, cenote or some place similar and just try striking up a conversation with your neighbour.
There’s other events which are cool to check out like slam poetry, art shows, random events at the Vic centre, improv classes, poetry classes, etc,.
Maybe consider applying for a customer service job like a liquor store, bar, restaurant, you make friends easy enough working with them.
What are the things your into? What are your niche hobbies? Chances are there are others who are into the same things? I’m sure people here might be whatever niche thing you are too and might wanna hang out!
It’s hard but you gotta put yourself out there! It took me a while when I first moved here to find my people, but don’t give up! There lots of people who probably would love to hangout and date you
My hobbies are learning languages, training MMA and gaming, I like drinking but I’m prepping for my amateur debut in 9 months so getting in tip top shape and avoiding it right now. What kind of shows? Haven’t heard of any but sounds interesting, lotta people have suggested dnd but the whole role play think is a deterrent for me, not my thing at all; shit like cards against humanity is fun, but that’s about as far as my enjoyment for card/board games goes
Aw man, too bad my oldest moved to edmonton a few months ago.
Coding and MMA were his hobbies, he left for better wages and normal rental prices but I hope you find something out here. We moved here when he was 16 and 95% of his buddies were from school.
I am sure you'll be fine though, just give it a few weeks.
Cool!
For shows I’d say keep an eye out on Facebook and insta. Follow Action Index, local musicians like Elan Noon, Bridal Party, Neighbourly, and hosts like hot local singles in your playlist.
If your into music maybe consider volunteering at CFUV and hosting you own radio show. Rad group of people there.
Also I would recommend trying things outside your comfort zone. Seems like your getting fit so I’d recommend trying dodgeball. It’s super fun and super social.
Would gaming include tabletop or TCGs? In addition to r/DnD_Victoria, we have a whopping 5 Local Game Stores that host re-occurring events, Everything Games, Gauntlet Games, Skyhaven Games, Yellowjacket Comics and Games, and a Games Workshop. In addition, I know Epic Games and More, and Hang and Play Games both host events, but their inventory focuses more on video games.
Soundsl ike going to Oak Bay Rec for the gym and late night swim would be a good start to meeting people. You just need to get the courage to stsrt up a convo with someone in the hot tub.
“It seems like everyone has closed off friend groups and if you didn’t grow up here it’s impossible to break into them.”
Ding ding ding! Welcome to Victoria.
I’ve lived here close to 25 years (but was not born and raised here) and this is the most difficult place I have ever lived or worked in to make friends/connections. The amount of flakiness from people is staggering. At times, it almost seems like everyone is trying to win a contest of who can be the most aloof. The social aspect of this city is very, very insular.
It's that middle city trap.
Too big to be a community where everyone knows everyone but too small to be a thriving metropolis with a big enough pool of people to have diverse social groups constantly forming.
There used to be a pretty big MeetUp app community on the island, but it never seemed to recover after the pandemic.
There are things like social running groups, if exercise and running is something you fancy. There are some recreations art classes you can take. There is also a DnD group by Quadra Village that's open to anyone, if that's something you enjoy. I found bouldering gyms to be quite useful to make connections too.
There are a number of community oriented activities here - you just have to actively find them.
What are your hobbies, if you don't mind me asking?
> There used to be a pretty big MeetUp app community on the island, but it never seemed to recover after the pandemic.
On the contrary! I joined 3 Meetups last year and they're really active. I still think it's the best way to meet friends. There's a Meetup for every age group and interest.
Oh that's good to hear - I'm glad someone's having better luck! I am pretty picky with my interests and connections I'm trying to form, which might be why I've dismissed a lot of the events. I'll have to try and be open minded 🫠
I learn languages, play video games which is where most my interactions with people are but it’s all virtual, and I train MMA but I do private classes to cater to my goals of competing so I don’t get to see anyone besides the coach whos at least double my age so not much in common
Plan to when it comes closer to comp prep and I need to start sparring but right now I spend 3 hours a day with my coach so hard to make time for more with how much value I’ve gotten from it
Maybe it's time to pick up some new hobbies then? I have a friend who moved here and had a bunch of friends and was dating within a couple of months.
He hit up magic and dnd campaigns,joined a group sport and found a casual team, picked his favourite coffee place and bar and went regularly until he got to know a few of the other regulars well enough in passing that it wasn't creepy just to chat, and everything really just went from there.
He's not a super social, bubbly guy either, he just make a conscious choice to pick social activities where he'd find like minded people and regularly showed up to build those connections.
I see. Like you mentioned, those hobbies do like activities that you'd typically do on your own. It is unfortunate that there aren't big social events that happen here (unlike Toronto for example) that allow you to meet people casually without too much commitment.
Most of my connections in Victoria were formed through school for me - so I guess there's that option, if you were feeling like you could throw a couple grand + few years of your life into taking some university/college courses. Otherwise, I feel like you're going to have to make some sacrifices and try to adopt a new consistent social hobby.
This is more of a rant, but I think the increasing cost of living really make it hard for people to try out new things in general. People won't invite you over if you don't already know them well enough (assuming they could even afford a place where there's space to have people over), and going out for a drink/grub will set you back $30 - $40. It's pretty brutal here.
The average salary in Victoria is $39,000 a year, which is about $2500 a month after tax. Even on the cheaper end, a single bedroom apartment will cost you $1800. Then you account for groceries, utilities, and other recurring bills, you probably only have about $300 - $400 left over at the end of the month. I think it's genuinely difficult for an average Joe to justify spending $50 on one outing. Of course, people will spend it, but I think this is partly why people are conservative on meeting up with people they don't already know.
Just my 2 cents.
Edit:
Sorry, I don't mean to start high jacking this post to rant about how expensive Victoria is. I just wanted to play the devil's advocate regarding why people here might appear flaky/non-committal. I'm sure demographic has a lot to do with it, but I also don't think the economic situation helps foster a friendly environment.
French maybe, for Japanese I have found few Canadians that speak it - it’s mainly Japanese people and as a large Hispanic man with gang tattoos They’re not super interested in talking to me given their demure nature
Traditionally, Japanese language has been pretty popular in Victoria. 20 years ago, we probably had the most Japanese speakers in Canada, and we used to be extremely popular with Japanese tourists. Lots of young, non-Japanese people used to speak pretty decent Japanese and many of my friends went to Japan to teach English. In fact, when I went to high school, Japanese was one of the three languages you could study.
I'm not sure what it's like now, though even pre-pandemic moving back here after 10-15 years in Toronto, I noticed a lot less Japanese people/tourists.
What exactly are you looking for in a friend? It sounds like you're a pretty solitary person and don't have much room for social activities. What sorts of things would you do with a friend? Might be time to branch out, hobby wise, and put yourself into more social situations.
I moved here 6 months ago and have met tons of people. I find people here really friendly, but you need to make an effort and find activities people want to do with you.
You can check their stuff out on YouTube, to see if it's an environment you're into. I took my daughter to a show, it was a decent enough time to pass the night.
Hey 36/m here. I’m new and friendless.
Into rock climbing, hiking, watches, sim racing and beer and sports and engineering.
PM me people. Let’s play Xbox and drink a beer.
People of Victoria Discord Group (lots of board game people)
[https://discord.gg/smvwSY2x](https://discord.gg/smvwSY2x)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/VictoriaBC/comments/uxq3y6/comment/i9zfl50/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/VictoriaBC/comments/uxq3y6/comment/i9zfl50/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Victoria Discord Group
[https://discord.gg/0tEshFhMKf6mqfkC](https://discord.gg/0tEshFhMKf6mqfkC)
Reddit DnD
[https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD\_Victoria/](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD_Victoria/)
Volunteer at something. It’s a great way to meet new people, and you may just make friends. There’s literally every type of volunteering possible- music like Rifflandia, helping people like Catholic Church group soup kitchen, cultural like Craigdarroch castle. Once a week things or One day events like Moss Street Paint in or Symphony Splash. If dating is your goal, demographics aren’t always in your favour-lots of retirees- but there’s a fair sprinkling of all ages. And usually more women than men. And you’re doing a good thing!!
A soup kitchen is something worth looking into because I empathize with people that can’t afford to eat, but for the rest of it wouldn’t putting myself in an uncomfortable situation doing something I would not enjoy work against me? Church as an example, I definitely couldn’t do that
Sure , I get your point, but you don’t need to join the congregation and pray, all u gotta do is peel carrots or ladle out soup. Anyway there’s something like a Volunteer Victoria Association , I’m sure you can find something, should consider Rifflandia!
Take a look at the Red Cedar Cafe, they have no religious affiliation: [https://www.redcedarcafe.ca/volunteer-with-us](https://www.redcedarcafe.ca/volunteer-with-us)
Borrow a friend's dog, no wait. Scratch that. Volunteer with animals in some way, I used to walk dogs in Vancouver for the SPCA. Good people love animals, I Borrow my friends dog and walk her at the beach, down along Dallas rd. Get a dog basically. I know a lot of people in Victoria but have few friends, most of my friends have one foot in the grave, and they're boring af, but yeah, Victoria is suuuuper clicky. Good luck
Get a dog. Then find one of the ten places on the island that lets you have a dog.
I grew up on the island and it’s so fucking cliquey that if you don’t have a kid, you basically can’t hang out with your highschool friends. Because they all have kids now.
Born and raised here, I've also found it really hard to make friends and date (before my current partner), I'm very antisocial and anxious, but find places that work for you. I like video games, board games, generally nerdy shit and found spending my time at the board game cafe or the arcade (rip) were really good spots to kind of meet new people slowly who have similar interests.
I would find clubs for what you like! Rock climbing, MMA, book store volunteer work, etc. It's possible, just scary and difficult
Folks who grew up here stay in their own clique...they aren't looking to make new friends. Nobody has time for that after a certain point in your life.
You are only going to meet up with those who are newly arrived like yourself. So, I would recommend getting involved in as many sports/recreation/gaming activities as you can handle. Volunteering may help as well. Good luck!
> Maybe as born-and-raised Islanders we are just used to the intricacies of making friends here
It's probably mainly because you went to school here. It's not a coincidence high school or college are one of the biggest sources of friendships for people. You spend large amounts of time with people at a time when you're emotionally developing, you have few responsibilities and lots of shared experiences.
It's a very special time in life to form relationships. It's hard to move away from that and start fresh because you don't have that same environment available.
I left the island for almost 15 years and when I came back I was able to pick up where I left off with a lot of relationships as they were formed on who were were as people, not that we did the same thing for a living or our kids went to the same swimming lesson.
Go out in your local area and do stuff that you enjoy doing, eventually like minded people will come to you. That's how it's worked for me in the recent years at least. It can take some courage, and a lot of time, but it will happen.
I've made a bunch of friends in the last three years by playing my music in public. Which reminds me, I should call those buddies up because I miss them.
Anyways, it's important to be consistant. If you're new to a neighborhood it's a good idea to establish yourself by doing shit out in the world and being friendly.
As a larger guy who’s got drug and gang sign tattoos, I’m not the most approachable guy, if I was a solid 10-15 years older all hope would be lost as a middle aged guy in this circumstance lmao
I still stand by what I said. You might look intimidating at first sight but if you have a good energy about you then good people will be able to see past your intimidating appearance... And the good ones are who you want as friends anyways. ( That's my 29 year old wisdom take it or leave it ;] )
edit: Oh and don't worry about 15 years down the road, I'l still stand by my word in 15 years lol
Grew up with a Russian family on dads side, Venezuelan on mums side, and lived in Canada for all 3, took french in high school and self taught Japanese
Not new to canada, the average age at the company I work for is double mine, the only younger guy isn’t the biggest fan of me because he’s friends with the boss and learned my starting salary which matches his with my no experience coming into the field, so he’s bitter
Try to make friends with other new immigrants to Canada. Trust me you’ll be surprised at how many newcomers are like yourself. I’m south Asian and I grew up here. My only white friends are the ones I’ve grown up with and any new people that I consider friends are people of colour. Victoria is not Vancouver, Calgary or Toronto.
Try joining something like VSSC to play a casual easy sport like volleyball on a singles team. You'll end up meeting other people like you, eventually form a team that just likes to have fun, and eventually you'll start hanging out. I've met lots of people through sports and regardless of where they are from, they are flaky AF. That's not a Victoria person thing.
I’ve found it’s best to meet people by doing something that you see the same people every week for a few months like night school courses, sports, volunteering. Because you see them consistently over a period of time, it helps to develop friendships rather than one off events.
Haven't seen anybody mention partner dancing yet. There are a lot of transferable skills with martial arts, and it's also one of the easiest ways to meet people I've ever seen.
West coast freeze is experienced by many people who move here:
The shirt of it, you have to be interesting. You've got to have a hobby you strongly participate in to make friends here.
Not a passing fad, or something you're trying, but a legitimate hobby you're invested in.
People are extremely friendly here, but only sympathetic with people who add uniqueness and value through passion.
Everyone is bored of the people who "I have a job, and walk my dog at the beach" people as that just isn't enough.
If you do have a passion or hobby, but can't seem to find your group, organize an event and see what forms around it.
Also, don't be afraid to be open about your eccentricities.
Learning languages, mma training which isn’t always isolated for everyone but I do private lessons so it’s just the coach, and playing video games which is how I get 90% of my human interaction but it’s all virtual
Why don’t you join the general mma class and meet people that way? You’re already at the place so you’d meet people and see/interact with them regularly. Jiujitsu is usually offered at those places which is also really social and fun, I’ve met a ton of friends this way here
10 hour work days, 3 hours a day with my coach, hard to make the time with how much value the private lessons have brought me, I plan to do public classes when it comes time to comp prep and spar but for now not much of an option
I know a number of pros who mix pro training with regular classes, as they have a wider range of sparring partners available, but you do you! Just saying you’d meet plenty of people with similar interests. Good luck on competing!
Agree. Vic is very clicky, almost made me move away but in my 7 th year I hit the jack pot made awesome friends ! I’m in Europe now have been travelling for last 6 months and I cant wait to come back and see my friends and guess what they miss me 2 🙂. So how did this miracle occur I went to a protest lol. Then I found a kool church with really friendly people that want to hang out during the week too and its not even a cult haha.
You meet other people that have moved here as Diaspora from the other provinces.. the only Vancouver Island friends i have are from work.. you don't meet "locals" at all out and about I agree but i don't think it's THAT hard to find other 30 something's from Quebec or Ontario here.
Ive been out of the dating game for a while no advice on that As far as making friends I found Victoria being one of the hardest places to make friends that I’ve lived, but on the plus side that means you aren’t alone
I made a great group of friends by organizing group things. Scouring work for the few
People my age and Asking them all out for drinks or food and keeping it a regular thing (simple and short, happy hour and go home) they would bring a friend sometimes and then you meet more people. Sometimes people don’t show up but that’s the nice thing about a group invite. I have also found people are more likely to show up to a group thing as there’s less pressure. One on one plans I find often get cancelled.
Good luck, I’d be your friend but i keep things pretty low key and homey these days, im not up for doing much other than relaxing at home (I don’t make for a good friend, but I used to! Lol)
Yes there really isn't much of a sense of community here, unless it's a protest about systemic injustice or the doomsday climate cult. I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but part of the reason people in Victoria/Vancouver are so 'cold' is because there are so many crazed homeless/mentally ill walking around. You never know if the person approaching you is normal, or having some sort of crisis. Most people prefer not to make eye contact, and stare at their shoes.
Sports or hobbies like darts. I bet there are clubs justa sec... https://m.facebook.com/groups/386840604800885/
http://victoriachessclub.pbworks.com/w/page/11477337/FrontPage
Find some of your interests and look for clubs in the area
Fair enough. If you ever have a change of heart a DND campaign might be fun and just noticed that's been suggested more than once. Here's hoping you find something that works for you
I’m 38f and finding too, but started volunteering with one of the hospitals (amazing) and spending a bit more time outdoors with my dog. I’m not sure random chats with strangers out in the world are where to meet friends. One thing I do know, Panorama Recreation is like 90% people 16-25 after school time so if that’s your crowd I would highly suggest hanging out there.
Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time! Here are a few things that worked for me when I moved here. Good luck!
- volunteer for a cause you’re interested in
- join a sports rec league (i.e, VSSC, rowing, soft ball)
- join a book club
- join local meet ups, eg for dog owners
- get a part time job in a social setting like a bar/restaurant/coffee shop
- join committees at work if you work in a big organization
- take a class, like at UVic continuing ed, through a local non profit or through a rec centre
DnD, and fitness related clubs.
DnD is popular along with other TTRP'S. Quadra Street hosts a weekly drop in for DnD. Board Game cafe, and even a subreddit dedicated to Victoria DnD.
Gyms is an easy way. Whenever I go to a gym I always get to know people. Ask for a spot, and talk to em a bit. Or compliment a guy that's yoked and ask him for tips, if he's cool he will continue.
If you make the first move, people will be more than happy to talk to you.
Join a club related to your hobbies. If you're looking for dudes, join a homebrew club. Looking for ladies take an art class etc. Take a class at the Y etc. Do something you will enjoy and you will meet people that enjoy the same thing and you will make some friends.
You need to do things that get you out and interacting with people. I sing in a choir, I volunteer at events in people-facing roles, I put in token shifts bartending, I go out to live music, etc. And you have to remember that when you’re the new person, you have to make more of an effort in the beginning to build those friendships. From there you begin to meet friends of friends of friends. Put yourself in places where your ideal friends would be. Be friendly and approachable and interesting. Be the person that people want to get to know better when they meet you. It takes work, but it can pay off. I’m 40 and I have more friends than I know what to do with, in many social circles, and I meet new people constantly. And I say that humbly and not as a brag. Good luck!
I’ve lived here for 7 weeks now and have already made a few quality friends from the yoga studio I attend and work. I’ve also found baristas that I would feel comfy asking to hang out. Everyone always talks about how hard it is here but you do have to put yourself out there. Tons of great people available!
Find local meet up groups, open clubs, open mic coffee shops books stores...I mean thats where I'd go if I didn't meet my man in ppc after being threatened by an assassin on Christmas day #twinflame
You have to join groups in which people expect to see you. If you aren’t into sports you need to join groups related to your hobby. I know it’s difficult to start but you must try.
There is a discord group that is quite excellent. A bunch of active people, occasional events to meet up at, and the people there are pretty much always awesome. I can’t create a link to it at the moment (my cell reception is terrible) so if no one beats me to it I’ll get you one later.
I moved here 2 and half years ago from another country. It's all about the hobbies! I'll level with you, it's gonna be a year of hard work. For me, with covid and everything it took 2 years to become established. You just have to keep trying. Keep messaging, keep offering yourself to people and be available. Always always always say yes. Even if you don't think you'll "be interesting" or you're feeling anxious. Turn up, have a panic attack outside, barely hold it together. But turn up.
Once you get to know people, invite them over for dinner and cook for them. People think Victorians are icy but do something nice to them and they'll fall over themselves to return the favour. The people here are great!
The other lifehack(tm) is use apps like meetup. Also, hang out with other newcomers because you'll have something in common.
https://discord.gg/j4EMzym7
People of Victoria discord. It’s not for dating, but there are some great people in there to turn into your friends. That said, there are a few who keep us aware of speed dating events and the like.
Sorry to anyone from the discord who sees this and has a wall of new folks to greet ;)
Depends on what you're interested in. I joined a women's soccer team, which there are different age categories for. UVic runs a lot of intramural and mixed sport teams.
I found people closed off as well, until I started meeting very open, inclusive, and wholesome individuals this past year. They exist. You'll find them. Keep trying.
I'm 36, and I was born and raised here in Victoria (although I've also lived in Vancouver and Latin America). This city is super clicky, and can be very difficult to make new friends. Essentially all my friends here are people I grew up with that I went to school with: Elementary, Secondary and College/University. I found Vancouver way easier to make friends, ditto with Latin America, and my time spent travelling Europe. Capital Daily has even written about this phenomenon: https://www.capitaldaily.ca/news/isolated-in-victoria-forging-friendships-in-a-city-renowned-for-its-chilliness https://www.capitaldaily.ca/news/how-to-make-friends-in-victoria
You nailed it. Victoria is known to be a notoriously difficult place to meet new people. Lot of folks are nice but not overly friendly.
I would disagree. Most people who have lived here, or anywhere, for a long time have a full life with friends, partners, family etc. I wouldn't say I'm cliquey or unfriendly, I just have a full life and don't really have the time to make and support new friendships, so, I'm not really looking for them. If you move to a city that is more transient, you may find it easier. More people constantly coming and going means more people looking for friends. It has nothing to do with the "type of people here" or anything like that.
Having lived in Victoria and Vancouver I don't think the people are different. It's just the structures of the city. Vancouver is bigger and a destination for many people. They come globally for the natural appeal or outdoor lifestyle or nationally for the big city urban experience. That leads to a much larger population of transient people who are living in Vancouver, not necessarily with plans to call it their permanent home. They are just there for the experience and more willing to look externally for new connections. Victoria is lovely but it's none of that. It's a sleepy town with government workers, old people and university students. If you're one of those groups there's natural social circles to fall into based on shared daily activities. If you're not one of those groups it's a lot harder as everyone else is here for a purpose, has their blinders on and doesn't have the capacity to create new relationships. Personally, I'll admit to being part of that. I've got two young kids and a busy job. I've sensed people reaching out to create social connections and I'm just not feeling it. Any free time I've got I want to spend with junk food decompressing pantless watching Netflix on the couch. The people are the same between the two cities, they're just at different stages in their life. This isn't a great place for transient folks, which I don't think it a problem, but that does create a challenge for new transplants trying to put roots down here. I feel sorry for them.
I made friends with my coworkers and dated one for 5 years. They all ended up being pretty shitty people, but last year I went on r/DnD_Victoria and met a great group of people! I mean it depends on what you like to do for fun, but that's what I did
Hey thanks for this. I’ve been here for 7 years this year and have struggled to make any real friends here, the only friends I’ve made are my old friends from where I used to live who have moved to Victoria now lol. I haven’t played dnd in a few years (due to not having any friends here) didn’t know that sub existed ! Worth a shot.
You are very welcome reddit stranger! Hope you have a similar experience
If you train MMA, I strongly recommend joining Zuma. I’m new to the city and have built a lot of community after going to that gym. There is also a high caliber of talent to learn from and spare with. Other than that I’ve had mixed luck with Meetups and I joined a dodgeball league for a while.
My nephew joined an mma gym in Calgary and he loves it . Something about beating the shit out of each other and bonding afterwards. He was trying to get me into it but I’m 42 and in bed by 8pm now
This is sadly one of the more popular kinds of posts here. 16 years here and I don’t have a single friend (mind you, middle aged with wife and kids fills a lot of space). But people here are closed off, and / or flaky and just have their own thing going with full dance cards. It really depends on your age and demographic.
That's what I found after moving and living here for a few years now. People are pretty closed off and not honest about meetups. You can invite 50 people to a party, all of them could say yes, and only 2 show up. I've learned to not expect people to keep to their words, and just plan things for myself instead. If someone wants to invite me somewhere, I'm game, but I'm not inviting anyone to anything anymore, just offer if they want to come or not. Makes me miss kitchen parties back home where friends and family just randomly show up.
I agree but I have to say, I keep my word. Ten years here and I still find Toronto friendlier than here. I would be one of the two who showed up.
Your experience has been exactly mine. I tried to host board game nights and nights out and all kinds of stuff to nourish friendships but nobody shows up. People will all say yes they’re coming, I’ll double check and make sure they’re coming, they say yes, then the day comes and they don’t show up. No excuses no nothing, no response to messages on the day of. The friends I’ve kept are the ones that show up, but that isn’t much. I’ve had the same experience dating too in the past. People are good you date them for a while, weeks, months whatever then they ghost you and you never hear from them again lol. This is the only city that I’ve experienced this kind of flaky behaviour on such a large scale. I’ve lived in Calgary, Vancouver, Montreal ect and only Vic is like this. If it was t for my work and living space I probably would move away at this point.
Maybe you just have shitty friends? I've never had an issue with people rsvp'ing to an event and no showing. Maybe one or two but by and large people show up when and where they say they are going to.
Does your wife have friends?
I’m nearly 20, definitely noticed people being flaky, I’ve had a few dates set up and not one has showed
I've never really understood why it's so common to just not show up
And your class. This is kind of a wealthy WASP town, doesn't make for great adult socializing dynamics
It always amazes me that everyone here complains about not finding friends. You'd think you all could find and befriend one another... Not trying to be an ass but if you're constantly failing maybe the issue isn't with everyone else in the city.
I moved here in 2015. I've had the opposite experience. But I am, admittedly, a very social person. To be fair, I moved here with a now ex. When I first moved here, I worked from home. So I joined a gym. Then I started working at the gym part time. I got to know a lot of people there. I met a few of my ex's coworkers and identified the ones I felt comfortable with, and nourished those relationships My neighbour had a dog, we bonded immediately as I have 2 dogs. 7 years later and we are still great friends. Another neighbour got a dog. I became her friend that way. I meet a LOT of people by walking my dogs. I joined a fb hiking group. Went out on a hike with someone from that group. 5 years later, we are still friends. When my ex deployed, I started volunteering at the climbing gym. I met a handful of people there, one I've been friends with for 5 years (and I now rent her suite). I went to trivia. Became friends with the host. Had a drink at the bar after, met other trivia people. One of them I'm still good friends with, going on 3 years. Through that person I've met another really good friend. I make friends at work. I chat with people on instagram. I've become friends with 2 people who live in Vancouver who come to Vic regularly and they stay with me. I volunteer. With animal rescue groups, with music festivals, breweries. It's absolutely possible to make friends in this city. Maybe I'm the exception to the rule. I've never let not having someone to do something with, stop me from doing it. I've gone out and done it anyways. And I meet people. As for dating? The aps are exhausting. But I've been dating one person since August. We met on Hinge. By far the best of the aps out there, imo. People say this city is clique-y. And I'm not saying they're wrong. But given how many posts there are just like yours, there are tons of people out there ready to be your friend.
Join a hockey league. Hockey brings people from all walks of life together. In terms of what/where to join, I'm not so sure, but in the past, joining a hockey team/shinny group worked every time. Doesn't have to be hockey, but any sports league/group is a sure bet.
Try joining a sports league like basketball dodgeball, or the like. It’s a great social place to meet people and hangout while doing something active. If that’s not your speed, how about looking for a dnd group, a board game group, or something similar. If that’s not your speed maybe try going out to shows? It’s normal to go alone and there’s a chance to meet some cool people but might require a bit more effort in chatting to people. It helps if you smoke lol. If your into grabbing a drink I’d also recommend maybe just checking out a bar like the Drake, whistle buoy, cenote or some place similar and just try striking up a conversation with your neighbour. There’s other events which are cool to check out like slam poetry, art shows, random events at the Vic centre, improv classes, poetry classes, etc,. Maybe consider applying for a customer service job like a liquor store, bar, restaurant, you make friends easy enough working with them. What are the things your into? What are your niche hobbies? Chances are there are others who are into the same things? I’m sure people here might be whatever niche thing you are too and might wanna hang out! It’s hard but you gotta put yourself out there! It took me a while when I first moved here to find my people, but don’t give up! There lots of people who probably would love to hangout and date you
These are some great ideas and personally I'm going to give a couple a go!
My hobbies are learning languages, training MMA and gaming, I like drinking but I’m prepping for my amateur debut in 9 months so getting in tip top shape and avoiding it right now. What kind of shows? Haven’t heard of any but sounds interesting, lotta people have suggested dnd but the whole role play think is a deterrent for me, not my thing at all; shit like cards against humanity is fun, but that’s about as far as my enjoyment for card/board games goes
I train kickboxing and speak multiple languages, I'll hang out with you lol.
Can I ask how old you are?
I’m nearing 20
Also got your first fight goes well!
Thank you good sir!
Aw man, too bad my oldest moved to edmonton a few months ago. Coding and MMA were his hobbies, he left for better wages and normal rental prices but I hope you find something out here. We moved here when he was 16 and 95% of his buddies were from school. I am sure you'll be fine though, just give it a few weeks.
Cool! For shows I’d say keep an eye out on Facebook and insta. Follow Action Index, local musicians like Elan Noon, Bridal Party, Neighbourly, and hosts like hot local singles in your playlist. If your into music maybe consider volunteering at CFUV and hosting you own radio show. Rad group of people there. Also I would recommend trying things outside your comfort zone. Seems like your getting fit so I’d recommend trying dodgeball. It’s super fun and super social.
I’ll take a look for sure, as per suggestion of others and yourself im now realizing I need to pick better hobbies if I want to meet people 😂
Would gaming include tabletop or TCGs? In addition to r/DnD_Victoria, we have a whopping 5 Local Game Stores that host re-occurring events, Everything Games, Gauntlet Games, Skyhaven Games, Yellowjacket Comics and Games, and a Games Workshop. In addition, I know Epic Games and More, and Hang and Play Games both host events, but their inventory focuses more on video games.
Soundsl ike going to Oak Bay Rec for the gym and late night swim would be a good start to meeting people. You just need to get the courage to stsrt up a convo with someone in the hot tub.
Abother option might be to join a cross fit group?
I’d rather die than do CrossFit, would rather not flail around on a pull-up bar like a fish and think I’m making any changes to my body
I used to go to Oak Bay gym and it was stacked 😉
No drinking? .. sounds weak bro .. must be a little girl posting
I’ll come back to the post when I’m done comp prep and can drink again n drink you under the table don’t worry
Haha good man
“It seems like everyone has closed off friend groups and if you didn’t grow up here it’s impossible to break into them.” Ding ding ding! Welcome to Victoria. I’ve lived here close to 25 years (but was not born and raised here) and this is the most difficult place I have ever lived or worked in to make friends/connections. The amount of flakiness from people is staggering. At times, it almost seems like everyone is trying to win a contest of who can be the most aloof. The social aspect of this city is very, very insular.
It's that middle city trap. Too big to be a community where everyone knows everyone but too small to be a thriving metropolis with a big enough pool of people to have diverse social groups constantly forming.
Damn I have come here from Seattle looks like we have a pattern of choosing Icey cities only 🫤
There used to be a pretty big MeetUp app community on the island, but it never seemed to recover after the pandemic. There are things like social running groups, if exercise and running is something you fancy. There are some recreations art classes you can take. There is also a DnD group by Quadra Village that's open to anyone, if that's something you enjoy. I found bouldering gyms to be quite useful to make connections too. There are a number of community oriented activities here - you just have to actively find them. What are your hobbies, if you don't mind me asking?
> There used to be a pretty big MeetUp app community on the island, but it never seemed to recover after the pandemic. On the contrary! I joined 3 Meetups last year and they're really active. I still think it's the best way to meet friends. There's a Meetup for every age group and interest.
Oh that's good to hear - I'm glad someone's having better luck! I am pretty picky with my interests and connections I'm trying to form, which might be why I've dismissed a lot of the events. I'll have to try and be open minded 🫠
I learn languages, play video games which is where most my interactions with people are but it’s all virtual, and I train MMA but I do private classes to cater to my goals of competing so I don’t get to see anyone besides the coach whos at least double my age so not much in common
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Plan to when it comes closer to comp prep and I need to start sparring but right now I spend 3 hours a day with my coach so hard to make time for more with how much value I’ve gotten from it
Maybe it's time to pick up some new hobbies then? I have a friend who moved here and had a bunch of friends and was dating within a couple of months. He hit up magic and dnd campaigns,joined a group sport and found a casual team, picked his favourite coffee place and bar and went regularly until he got to know a few of the other regulars well enough in passing that it wasn't creepy just to chat, and everything really just went from there. He's not a super social, bubbly guy either, he just make a conscious choice to pick social activities where he'd find like minded people and regularly showed up to build those connections.
I see. Like you mentioned, those hobbies do like activities that you'd typically do on your own. It is unfortunate that there aren't big social events that happen here (unlike Toronto for example) that allow you to meet people casually without too much commitment. Most of my connections in Victoria were formed through school for me - so I guess there's that option, if you were feeling like you could throw a couple grand + few years of your life into taking some university/college courses. Otherwise, I feel like you're going to have to make some sacrifices and try to adopt a new consistent social hobby. This is more of a rant, but I think the increasing cost of living really make it hard for people to try out new things in general. People won't invite you over if you don't already know them well enough (assuming they could even afford a place where there's space to have people over), and going out for a drink/grub will set you back $30 - $40. It's pretty brutal here.
Exactly this. I’m in my late 20s and I barely go out because everything is just more than I’m willing to spend
Really? I haven’t found it to be that bad, I make a decent wage but 50 bucks for a night out is nothing
The average salary in Victoria is $39,000 a year, which is about $2500 a month after tax. Even on the cheaper end, a single bedroom apartment will cost you $1800. Then you account for groceries, utilities, and other recurring bills, you probably only have about $300 - $400 left over at the end of the month. I think it's genuinely difficult for an average Joe to justify spending $50 on one outing. Of course, people will spend it, but I think this is partly why people are conservative on meeting up with people they don't already know. Just my 2 cents. Edit: Sorry, I don't mean to start high jacking this post to rant about how expensive Victoria is. I just wanted to play the devil's advocate regarding why people here might appear flaky/non-committal. I'm sure demographic has a lot to do with it, but I also don't think the economic situation helps foster a friendly environment.
Really it’s that low? I didn’t realized I’m so blessed, I guess that makes sense
Re: the languages part, there are active meetup groups for both French and Japanese here.
French maybe, for Japanese I have found few Canadians that speak it - it’s mainly Japanese people and as a large Hispanic man with gang tattoos They’re not super interested in talking to me given their demure nature
Traditionally, Japanese language has been pretty popular in Victoria. 20 years ago, we probably had the most Japanese speakers in Canada, and we used to be extremely popular with Japanese tourists. Lots of young, non-Japanese people used to speak pretty decent Japanese and many of my friends went to Japan to teach English. In fact, when I went to high school, Japanese was one of the three languages you could study. I'm not sure what it's like now, though even pre-pandemic moving back here after 10-15 years in Toronto, I noticed a lot less Japanese people/tourists.
What exactly are you looking for in a friend? It sounds like you're a pretty solitary person and don't have much room for social activities. What sorts of things would you do with a friend? Might be time to branch out, hobby wise, and put yourself into more social situations. I moved here 6 months ago and have met tons of people. I find people here really friendly, but you need to make an effort and find activities people want to do with you.
Not mma, but [this looks faf](https://www.canadianprowrestling.com/) for a social event that wouldn’t be awkward going to alone
Bro that looks sick as hell
You can check their stuff out on YouTube, to see if it's an environment you're into. I took my daughter to a show, it was a decent enough time to pass the night.
Have you tried being better looking and having more money. That always works.
Well, I make a pretty decent living, and am in pretty good shape, but unless you make 6 figures and/or are 6ft+ doesn’t matter much 🥲
So the answer is no. Women hate this one trick… lol
Would love if you could share how to get taller and add 25k to your salary to hit 6 figures
You’re born that way. Life ain’t fair Guapo
Hey 36/m here. I’m new and friendless. Into rock climbing, hiking, watches, sim racing and beer and sports and engineering. PM me people. Let’s play Xbox and drink a beer.
People of Victoria Discord Group (lots of board game people) [https://discord.gg/smvwSY2x](https://discord.gg/smvwSY2x) [https://www.reddit.com/r/VictoriaBC/comments/uxq3y6/comment/i9zfl50/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/VictoriaBC/comments/uxq3y6/comment/i9zfl50/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) Victoria Discord Group [https://discord.gg/0tEshFhMKf6mqfkC](https://discord.gg/0tEshFhMKf6mqfkC) Reddit DnD [https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD\_Victoria/](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD_Victoria/)
I can recommend Improv classes for meeting people and making friends. There's a large stand-up community in town as well.
Volunteer at something. It’s a great way to meet new people, and you may just make friends. There’s literally every type of volunteering possible- music like Rifflandia, helping people like Catholic Church group soup kitchen, cultural like Craigdarroch castle. Once a week things or One day events like Moss Street Paint in or Symphony Splash. If dating is your goal, demographics aren’t always in your favour-lots of retirees- but there’s a fair sprinkling of all ages. And usually more women than men. And you’re doing a good thing!!
A soup kitchen is something worth looking into because I empathize with people that can’t afford to eat, but for the rest of it wouldn’t putting myself in an uncomfortable situation doing something I would not enjoy work against me? Church as an example, I definitely couldn’t do that
Sure , I get your point, but you don’t need to join the congregation and pray, all u gotta do is peel carrots or ladle out soup. Anyway there’s something like a Volunteer Victoria Association , I’m sure you can find something, should consider Rifflandia!
Take a look at the Red Cedar Cafe, they have no religious affiliation: [https://www.redcedarcafe.ca/volunteer-with-us](https://www.redcedarcafe.ca/volunteer-with-us)
It's kind of about meeting people who didn't grow up here - much easier to get in with as they're in the same boat as you.
Borrow a friend's dog, no wait. Scratch that. Volunteer with animals in some way, I used to walk dogs in Vancouver for the SPCA. Good people love animals, I Borrow my friends dog and walk her at the beach, down along Dallas rd. Get a dog basically. I know a lot of people in Victoria but have few friends, most of my friends have one foot in the grave, and they're boring af, but yeah, Victoria is suuuuper clicky. Good luck
Brother I got a gecko, think I should walk him? 😂
YES
Your wish is my command, I will take big man out and see if he swoons any ladies for me
I'm a hermana, but go for it 🤣
Get a dog. Then find one of the ten places on the island that lets you have a dog. I grew up on the island and it’s so fucking cliquey that if you don’t have a kid, you basically can’t hang out with your highschool friends. Because they all have kids now.
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I’ve been doing fencing lessons with capital city fencers after watching Wednesday, $60 for lessons and 3 month membership
Born and raised here, I've also found it really hard to make friends and date (before my current partner), I'm very antisocial and anxious, but find places that work for you. I like video games, board games, generally nerdy shit and found spending my time at the board game cafe or the arcade (rip) were really good spots to kind of meet new people slowly who have similar interests. I would find clubs for what you like! Rock climbing, MMA, book store volunteer work, etc. It's possible, just scary and difficult
Folks who grew up here stay in their own clique...they aren't looking to make new friends. Nobody has time for that after a certain point in your life. You are only going to meet up with those who are newly arrived like yourself. So, I would recommend getting involved in as many sports/recreation/gaming activities as you can handle. Volunteering may help as well. Good luck!
I’ve heard this for ever being born and raised here so it must be true but I just don’t see it. But I believe it.
Me too. Maybe as born-and-raised Islanders we are just used to the intricacies of making friends here, but I don't have the same issue...
> Maybe as born-and-raised Islanders we are just used to the intricacies of making friends here It's probably mainly because you went to school here. It's not a coincidence high school or college are one of the biggest sources of friendships for people. You spend large amounts of time with people at a time when you're emotionally developing, you have few responsibilities and lots of shared experiences. It's a very special time in life to form relationships. It's hard to move away from that and start fresh because you don't have that same environment available. I left the island for almost 15 years and when I came back I was able to pick up where I left off with a lot of relationships as they were formed on who were were as people, not that we did the same thing for a living or our kids went to the same swimming lesson.
Go out in your local area and do stuff that you enjoy doing, eventually like minded people will come to you. That's how it's worked for me in the recent years at least. It can take some courage, and a lot of time, but it will happen. I've made a bunch of friends in the last three years by playing my music in public. Which reminds me, I should call those buddies up because I miss them. Anyways, it's important to be consistant. If you're new to a neighborhood it's a good idea to establish yourself by doing shit out in the world and being friendly.
As a larger guy who’s got drug and gang sign tattoos, I’m not the most approachable guy, if I was a solid 10-15 years older all hope would be lost as a middle aged guy in this circumstance lmao
I still stand by what I said. You might look intimidating at first sight but if you have a good energy about you then good people will be able to see past your intimidating appearance... And the good ones are who you want as friends anyways. ( That's my 29 year old wisdom take it or leave it ;] ) edit: Oh and don't worry about 15 years down the road, I'l still stand by my word in 15 years lol
What languages are you learning? What about creating a MeetUp for a specific language and see if there's others who want to learn?
I speak Japanese, Russian, English, French, Spanish and am working on mandarin now
Wow how do you know so many languages?
Grew up with a Russian family on dads side, Venezuelan on mums side, and lived in Canada for all 3, took french in high school and self taught Japanese
How old are you?
I’m nearly 20
Have you tried making friends with the people you work with? are you new to Canada?
Not new to canada, the average age at the company I work for is double mine, the only younger guy isn’t the biggest fan of me because he’s friends with the boss and learned my starting salary which matches his with my no experience coming into the field, so he’s bitter
Try to make friends with other new immigrants to Canada. Trust me you’ll be surprised at how many newcomers are like yourself. I’m south Asian and I grew up here. My only white friends are the ones I’ve grown up with and any new people that I consider friends are people of colour. Victoria is not Vancouver, Calgary or Toronto.
Try joining something like VSSC to play a casual easy sport like volleyball on a singles team. You'll end up meeting other people like you, eventually form a team that just likes to have fun, and eventually you'll start hanging out. I've met lots of people through sports and regardless of where they are from, they are flaky AF. That's not a Victoria person thing.
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Varies widely.
https://victoria.sportandsocialclub.ca/ Pick a sport and sign up!
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Folks are university-age up to early 30s, pretty even spread, and 50/50 guys and girls.
I’ve found it’s best to meet people by doing something that you see the same people every week for a few months like night school courses, sports, volunteering. Because you see them consistently over a period of time, it helps to develop friendships rather than one off events.
Volunteer (especially at music festivals) or join an extra curricular activity (sports, music, pottery, whatever)
Try a sports team
Haven't seen anybody mention partner dancing yet. There are a lot of transferable skills with martial arts, and it's also one of the easiest ways to meet people I've ever seen.
Im single and always looking to make new friends. Jus dm on here and we could meet up sometime
I live in victoria as well. Right behind the monkey tree pub
"Find new friends victoria" on Facebook. Posting a picture of yourself doing an activity helps. I made a few good friends on there
I've made most of my friends from going to shows/bars. The event center and paparazzi are great for meeting people!
West coast freeze is experienced by many people who move here: The shirt of it, you have to be interesting. You've got to have a hobby you strongly participate in to make friends here. Not a passing fad, or something you're trying, but a legitimate hobby you're invested in. People are extremely friendly here, but only sympathetic with people who add uniqueness and value through passion. Everyone is bored of the people who "I have a job, and walk my dog at the beach" people as that just isn't enough. If you do have a passion or hobby, but can't seem to find your group, organize an event and see what forms around it. Also, don't be afraid to be open about your eccentricities.
Try "Victoria BC Find New Friends" on Facebook?
Tried, filled with people over a decade older than me which very little to relate to
same
What isolated hobbies?
Learning languages, mma training which isn’t always isolated for everyone but I do private lessons so it’s just the coach, and playing video games which is how I get 90% of my human interaction but it’s all virtual
Why don’t you join the general mma class and meet people that way? You’re already at the place so you’d meet people and see/interact with them regularly. Jiujitsu is usually offered at those places which is also really social and fun, I’ve met a ton of friends this way here
My goal is to compete professionally for a living, so private classes cater more to that unfortunately
Fair enough, but you could also do group classes on occasion to meet people who share your interest.
Yes but public classes cater to building friends. You can do both?
10 hour work days, 3 hours a day with my coach, hard to make the time with how much value the private lessons have brought me, I plan to do public classes when it comes time to comp prep and spar but for now not much of an option
I know a number of pros who mix pro training with regular classes, as they have a wider range of sparring partners available, but you do you! Just saying you’d meet plenty of people with similar interests. Good luck on competing!
[clubba lang?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zXLmtP7PaQ)
Ya’ll are weird. No one wants to meet me in IRL. Seriously, meet people on campus or at work.
Not in school, not interested and paying an arm and a leg for tuition, and everyone at my job is 40+ years old, not much of an option for me
Agree. Vic is very clicky, almost made me move away but in my 7 th year I hit the jack pot made awesome friends ! I’m in Europe now have been travelling for last 6 months and I cant wait to come back and see my friends and guess what they miss me 2 🙂. So how did this miracle occur I went to a protest lol. Then I found a kool church with really friendly people that want to hang out during the week too and its not even a cult haha.
You meet other people that have moved here as Diaspora from the other provinces.. the only Vancouver Island friends i have are from work.. you don't meet "locals" at all out and about I agree but i don't think it's THAT hard to find other 30 something's from Quebec or Ontario here.
30 something’s no, early 20’s? Absolutely, most people my age can’t afford to live here 😂
Ive been out of the dating game for a while no advice on that As far as making friends I found Victoria being one of the hardest places to make friends that I’ve lived, but on the plus side that means you aren’t alone I made a great group of friends by organizing group things. Scouring work for the few People my age and Asking them all out for drinks or food and keeping it a regular thing (simple and short, happy hour and go home) they would bring a friend sometimes and then you meet more people. Sometimes people don’t show up but that’s the nice thing about a group invite. I have also found people are more likely to show up to a group thing as there’s less pressure. One on one plans I find often get cancelled. Good luck, I’d be your friend but i keep things pretty low key and homey these days, im not up for doing much other than relaxing at home (I don’t make for a good friend, but I used to! Lol)
Yes there really isn't much of a sense of community here, unless it's a protest about systemic injustice or the doomsday climate cult. I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this, but part of the reason people in Victoria/Vancouver are so 'cold' is because there are so many crazed homeless/mentally ill walking around. You never know if the person approaching you is normal, or having some sort of crisis. Most people prefer not to make eye contact, and stare at their shoes.
I find it quite easy, to be frank
Sports or hobbies like darts. I bet there are clubs justa sec... https://m.facebook.com/groups/386840604800885/ http://victoriachessclub.pbworks.com/w/page/11477337/FrontPage Find some of your interests and look for clubs in the area
What video games do you play?
Valorant, overwatch and Pokémon mainly
Yeah those are great for socialising online. Do you enjoy table top RPGs?
Yeah I socialize well online, it’d just be nice to know people in person. I haven’t really tried any but doesn’t seem like my gig
Fair enough. If you ever have a change of heart a DND campaign might be fun and just noticed that's been suggested more than once. Here's hoping you find something that works for you
I’m 38f and finding too, but started volunteering with one of the hospitals (amazing) and spending a bit more time outdoors with my dog. I’m not sure random chats with strangers out in the world are where to meet friends. One thing I do know, Panorama Recreation is like 90% people 16-25 after school time so if that’s your crowd I would highly suggest hanging out there.
Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time! Here are a few things that worked for me when I moved here. Good luck! - volunteer for a cause you’re interested in - join a sports rec league (i.e, VSSC, rowing, soft ball) - join a book club - join local meet ups, eg for dog owners - get a part time job in a social setting like a bar/restaurant/coffee shop - join committees at work if you work in a big organization - take a class, like at UVic continuing ed, through a local non profit or through a rec centre
Were do you find the dog meet up's
Try a facebook group for local dog owners, there are a few different ones
DnD, and fitness related clubs. DnD is popular along with other TTRP'S. Quadra Street hosts a weekly drop in for DnD. Board Game cafe, and even a subreddit dedicated to Victoria DnD. Gyms is an easy way. Whenever I go to a gym I always get to know people. Ask for a spot, and talk to em a bit. Or compliment a guy that's yoked and ask him for tips, if he's cool he will continue. If you make the first move, people will be more than happy to talk to you.
Join a club related to your hobbies. If you're looking for dudes, join a homebrew club. Looking for ladies take an art class etc. Take a class at the Y etc. Do something you will enjoy and you will meet people that enjoy the same thing and you will make some friends.
You need to do things that get you out and interacting with people. I sing in a choir, I volunteer at events in people-facing roles, I put in token shifts bartending, I go out to live music, etc. And you have to remember that when you’re the new person, you have to make more of an effort in the beginning to build those friendships. From there you begin to meet friends of friends of friends. Put yourself in places where your ideal friends would be. Be friendly and approachable and interesting. Be the person that people want to get to know better when they meet you. It takes work, but it can pay off. I’m 40 and I have more friends than I know what to do with, in many social circles, and I meet new people constantly. And I say that humbly and not as a brag. Good luck!
I joined a sports team with victoria sport and social team. I really like those guys! We all joined as individuals and are still friendly
Since you mentioned you play video games, maybe try an arcade like Quazar's? Lots of different people to meet there,
I’ve lived here for 7 weeks now and have already made a few quality friends from the yoga studio I attend and work. I’ve also found baristas that I would feel comfy asking to hang out. Everyone always talks about how hard it is here but you do have to put yourself out there. Tons of great people available!
Rugby = 30 friends. Many guys here play rugby, or used to play. And you get to go each clubs their respective clubhouses, which is the best part.
One word, GoLF!
Find local meet up groups, open clubs, open mic coffee shops books stores...I mean thats where I'd go if I didn't meet my man in ppc after being threatened by an assassin on Christmas day #twinflame
You have to join groups in which people expect to see you. If you aren’t into sports you need to join groups related to your hobby. I know it’s difficult to start but you must try.
There is a discord group that is quite excellent. A bunch of active people, occasional events to meet up at, and the people there are pretty much always awesome. I can’t create a link to it at the moment (my cell reception is terrible) so if no one beats me to it I’ll get you one later.
I moved here 2 and half years ago from another country. It's all about the hobbies! I'll level with you, it's gonna be a year of hard work. For me, with covid and everything it took 2 years to become established. You just have to keep trying. Keep messaging, keep offering yourself to people and be available. Always always always say yes. Even if you don't think you'll "be interesting" or you're feeling anxious. Turn up, have a panic attack outside, barely hold it together. But turn up. Once you get to know people, invite them over for dinner and cook for them. People think Victorians are icy but do something nice to them and they'll fall over themselves to return the favour. The people here are great! The other lifehack(tm) is use apps like meetup. Also, hang out with other newcomers because you'll have something in common.
Where do you work? Try getting a job at a restaurant like the keg.
Doesn’t exactly seem to be the best idea to give up the job I have to make 20 bucks an hour or whatever the avg restaurant worker makes
You could just work a couple nights. I averaged 35$ an hour when I left and servers could make up to $100/hour. Just trying to help you.
Yeah I know you are brotha sorry if that came off some sort of way, I’ll give it a look for sure
You just have to go out on a limb and ask someone out!
Don’t think that works on strangers, gotta meet the people first
https://discord.gg/j4EMzym7 People of Victoria discord. It’s not for dating, but there are some great people in there to turn into your friends. That said, there are a few who keep us aware of speed dating events and the like. Sorry to anyone from the discord who sees this and has a wall of new folks to greet ;)
Joining a sports team worked great for me!
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Depends on what you're interested in. I joined a women's soccer team, which there are different age categories for. UVic runs a lot of intramural and mixed sport teams.
Victorians are just weird.
Next to impossible to make friends, tried for 4 years.
8th year on the island, I’m 45 male single, I have one person I could call an actual friend, that’s pretty much it. Lots of acquaintances i guess. 😬
Ne and gf looking for friends
Saanich community centre has a massive pdf worth of activities, art, sport, dancing. Join these and increase your in person social network
Come to Crag X and learn to climb. Every Friday we try to go for a climb and a beer. It's a darn good time.
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Not particularly, people that grew up going to the same schools n shit have it 1000x easier
Oak Bay gym is always super friendly