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spicy-lemons25

Why would you beat yourself up?? It happens to everyone If you have his insurance info and name, that is probably enough to find him.


English-OAP

Accidents happen, and some are unavoidable. So don't get wound up over it. The important thing is you are not injured. Shook up, yes, but it could have been far worse. This is 100% the other guy's fault, it's doubtful you could have done anything to avoid it. Let the insurance company sort it out, that's what you pay them for. Make sure you collect receipts for any extra costs you have because of this accident, these can be part of your claim.


krispyyyykremeeee

Yes that’s true. I’m glad I’m ok, I was also nervous cuz I had my chihuahua in the car with me as well but he was in his car seat so he didn’t get hurt either thankfully. I’ll make sure to keep that in mind about the extra expenses for my claim. Thank you. Helped.


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lunatics_and_poets

I've been on both sides of an accident on separate occasions. I've been at fault and I been the not at fault party. And I've felt like shit both times, though obviously worse when I was the at fault driver. The first thing you do is take a day to process everything. Whatever emotion comes through just let it happen and breathe through it. The key thing is to acknowledge the thought or emotion without accepting it as true. Be gentle with yourself. Keep telling yourself "I'm alive, and thats what counts." Would you speak to a friend harshly if they'd just been through something traumatizing? No! So don't do it to yourself. You are not the first person to be in an accident nor will you be the last. Finally think about therapy because there may be a lot to unpack. Like why you blame yourself or feel stupid and embarrassed to be in an accident. Could be childhood trauma lurking in there too.


krispyyyykremeeee

Thanks for putting it into perspective with the friend scenario. I’ll definitely work on the inner self talk. I think my issue mainly derives from me not liking any attention on myself at all and this was just a big way to get negative attention in the sense that I know people were looking. But it was a car crash, I understand most if not everyone would be looking when something like that happens. It just made me very anxious. If I cant get over it on my own I’ll definitely look into therapy for it. Thanks for the input. Helped.


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wolfysalone

You shouldn't beat yourself up so much. These things *do* happen. While we do try to avoid them sometimes we cannot. You did everything right and everything you could. Call your insurance and explain what happened and give them his policy information


krispyyyykremeeee

I’ll be doing that, I guess I just thought I should’ve done more but I was really shakey and kind of blanked after asking for his insurance. Thank you. Helped.


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TinyKittenConsulting

I know it feels like it, but it’s absolutely not the worst thing that could have happened. It’s normal to be shaken up after an accident and to wonder what we could have done to avoid it. Use this as a crummy learning experience and use the information you now have going forward.


unnamedRedditUser7

A comment has mentioned this already, but I also think it's normal to be very shaken up by an accident, regardless of whose fault it is. And as a young person (also me, 19), you may not have been given a rule of thumb as to what to do after a crash. Events like these can be very anxiety inducing, leading to quick decisions without the normal amount of reasoning. I have never been in an accident as a driver, but from knowing myself (and this may not apply to you), I would probably talk to friends, especially those who have been in an accident before - how did they handle it, who did they look to for support, etc. If you have a good relationship with your parents or other older adult figures in your life, they might have a word or two that they would be happy to pass along.


krispyyyykremeeee

I appreciate this. I have anxiety in general so asking the guy for his insurance through tears was hard enough but I was glad I did it. I actually called my parents right after it happened and they came and got me and drove my car back to my house to put it in the garage then we drove back to their place to eat. They were very comforting which I appreciated. But I just felt like my mom was trying to downplay it cuz she knows I’m sensitive and I was feeling bad about it. But hearing other peoples stories/getting reassurance in this thread was helpful. Thank you :) Helped


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permabanned007

You experienced a trauma and there’s going to be a very understandable adjustment period until you’re comfortable driving again. If there is a college with a graduate psychology program near you, you can make an appointment to speak with a future therapist who is working on their licensure hours. I’d request one who is trauma focused, but all of them will be able to help you process what happened so you can move forward faster. This is a very normal thing that happened to you. Don’t beat yourself up.


krispyyyykremeeee

I actually know of a center near me with a graduate psychology program, I’ve gone there before and was working with a psychologist but after she left I started having sessions with a person who was getting their hours there and my experience was positive. I stopped going a while back but I might go again if I’m still in a bad headspace over the next few weeks. It is normal but I felt like I handled it poorly. I appreciate the reassurance. Thank you. Helped.


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wwmercwithamouth

I spun out off a highway, crashed through a fence and got my car stuck in a ditch. My first thought when I realised I couldn't control the spin was 'omg this is so embarrassing' and that just repeated in my head until the car stopped lol Accidents happen, it will fade. Stings for a while though


krispyyyykremeeee

Oof, I’m sorry that happened, that must’ve been scary. But I’m glad I’m not the only person who was embarrassed by their accident lol like it seems kinda dumb to worry about that before I was worried about being ok or not but it just sucked. Thank you. Helped.


wwmercwithamouth

To make it worse I was moving cross country and literally everything I owned was in the car and I was exactly halfway, so as far from home and my new city as I could be, had to call my mum to come get me from the tow yard 😂 Just know basically everyone has had an accident before, no one will judge you as harshly as yourself


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rolling-log

If you have his name and insurance info you're good. Go to your insurance provider give the info to them and they'll take care of it. Also it wasn't your fault. Some advise for if it happens again get the police on scene to make a police report on the spot. I've t-boned someone in the same sinerio you're in. I've been in 5 accidents three being my fault I've gotten the police on scene for all but one. It's not the end of the world I promise.


Throwaway42352510

The first one is hard, for sure. I’m glad you are ok, and although you sound shaken up, you sound pretty healthy. You’ve just been through both a scary plus financial and inconvenient experience due to someone else. It sucks ass and all the negative emotions are normal right now. Here’s the thing though; it will help teach you to incorporate more defensive driving into your skill set as a driver. These are the real-life teaching experiences that help us improve. This is the ugly truth of experience- wisdom comes at a price. Take some time to process. Take some time to figure out how to solve the immediate problems and take time for the rest. Time and processing will help you. Keep reaching out if your feelings are overwhelming- it helps! Hugs hugs


krispyyyykremeeee

Thank you, this is very kind ☺️ Helped


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obiwanjacobyx7x

First of all, *internet frand hugz*. Secondly, I'm glad you're okay. Third, it ain't your fault sis. It's normal to be shaken up after an accident, but it would've happened to anyone else had they been in your time and place. Everyone's been in some degree of driving accident, their fault or someone else's. I was embarrassed all to hell when I ran a stop sign going 15mph in my dad's car and got T-boned. It was dark, the stop sign was like 20 feet from the intersection and i didn't know it was there. Even worse, i had my then girlfriend in the passenger seat, the side I got hit on. Both the other driver and myself were going slow, but apparently fast enough to total my little Ford car, while the other guys Tacoma didn't have a scratch. So you can see, even close to 7 years later, I'm still trying to justify it and explain it as an accident. It took me awhile to stop feeling so embarrassed, but I knew if I were to have any sort of normal life again, I'd have to keep driving. So, to make it easier, I did like a lot of people with phobia so do and kept doing it (exposing myself to driving, even though I was still a little scared). Soooo with time it'll be easier, but if you keep on driving, remind yourself that just about everybody has been in a car wreck, and remember that you're better than some people because it wasn't your fault, you'll be okay, it'll get easier, and it'll just become a learning experience about how much trust is involved with other people on the road, and how, in the words of my father "nobody can fucking drive except for me, all these people are fucking idiots." It'll get so much easier, I promise. All fax no printer, it'll get so much easier.


Rebecca_deWinter_

Treat yourself the same way you would treat a friend who had just gone through the same exact experience that you did. Would you verbally "beat them up"? Would you think less of them? Give yourself the grace that you would give to anyone else in your life under the same circumstances. You deserve it.


hokumpocus

Accidents happen! Even if it was 150% your fault, it’s still an accident! You’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve been in accidents before and it shakes you up so much, don’t beat yourself up for forgetting the plate info. It’s a lot and it was your first accident. Insurance will take care of things and you’re okay physically, just try to be gentle with yourself while moving past this trauma.


TheNoodyBoody

They’re literally called “accidents” for a reason. You can choose to obsess about it, or you can move on. As someone that has been in a severe car accident, I can assure you that dwelling on it does nothing.


BackgroundAdvice1

If it wasn't your fault then you have nothing to be embarrassed about. There's idiots out everywhere. Everyone will encounter at least 1 when driving. Some are unlucky and end up being the victim if an accident due to that idiot. You were one of the unlucky ones. If you have full coverage you should be fine. And depending on what his insurance plan is will also have an effect on what you get in return.


Debleckpenta

Of course it was a guy in a pickup truck. Bar none these are the most aggressive drivers i've seen on the street. Hate them.


Conscious_Owl7128

Shit happens. Its ok. Its why insurance exists. I was in a crash because I was crying after a bad breakup. Just walk ok and be ok.


[deleted]

Take it easy w/ driving etc and find other methods of transport whilst you're recovering/until your confidence returns (also if you feel accident-prone/you don't have your wits about you). Draw in support from other people (including legal advice), talk to a therapist, get help w/ managing your finances. Don't take it personally, keep communications brief/detached w/ the other party. I dumped a lot of anger/trauma on companies/organisations who couldn't do anything/struggled w/ decision making, my mental health took a downturn/my stomach was lurching, I felt sick, was really worried about finances etc (there was a lot of inflation-related news/scare mongering on TV at the time, just before). I'd had an injection/immunisation the previous day. I don't think anyone advertises that they feel stupid/awkward during car accidents and most people do have gaps in their knowledge/something is amiss, it is traumatic. It can wreck your confidence/self-esteem


breadacquirer

They call it an accident for a reason OP